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Last week I interveiwed for a position within my department using the STAR-Based interview format.  I  totally "blew" the interview as I froze up trying to answer the questions.  The problem was that the 3 people on the interview panel were my supervisor, deputy director and an analyst whom I know very well.  That was a stressor going into the interview. I went literally blank on most of the questions.  I even tried to make up examples in the interview to save face.  However, that didn't work.  It only made things worse.

I am so embarrassed and feel so deflated.  I spoke to my supervisor after the interview & told him my anxiety got the best of me & he totally understood.  He told me my resume and transcripts very impressive but I needed to "sell" myself which I failed to do.  I am still unable to face the other 2 panel members because of my feeling of insecurity and embarrassment.    
I am having an extremely difficult time in letting this go.  My wife is helping me the best she can.

If you can provide me with any advice on how to let this go I would very much appreciate your input.  I feel I missed a real golden opportunity if only I had prepared better for this interview.

Very sincerely,

John B.


Sorry for your disappointment. Behavioral based interviews can be tough and very stressful. You are not alone in this experience. Has it been a long time since you interviewed? If that is the case, the first few interviews should be considered "practice". When I got into interviewing for jobs after staying at home for a few years, I assumed that I am going to "blow" the first few interviews I go to. And inspite of being a seasoned recruiter, I did "fail" at a couple of interviews, only to land my dream job after that. I am sure you will find other "golden" opportunities.

For future, remember the following:

1. Practice your answers out loud. Things sound different in our head and don't always come out the way we want them to, unless we practice saying them over and over. It is the same with speeches and presentations.
2. Don't let the fact that you know the interviewing panel deter you from selling yourself. They know you as a "Current title", not as a "future job title" - this is your chance to convince them. Don't let the fact that they might have a certain perception of you stop you from marketing yourself. This is your opportunity to change their perception.
3. Ask your manager if you have another chance, either right now or in the future if the position opens again.
4. Look for other similar opportunities inside your firm.

And lastly, I am going to say something that you won't probably like hearing but it is important for you to hear if you truly want to let this go:

If you couldn't succeed in the interview, it probably was not the right job for you anyway. It is better to fail at an interview than get the position and fail at your job or be miserable in your position.

Sorry to be blunt, but sometimes you need to see it from this perspective. Hope this helps. Good luck for your future endeavors!

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Deepa Barve, CIR


I can answer questions regarding interviews, resumes, cover letters and job searching in general. I can answer questions from both candidates (interviewee), as well as hiring managers, supervisors, and recruiters; in other words the "interviewer". I have a large network, so I can also provide resources and referrals. I have over 7 years of recruiting experience and inside information on how hiring managers think and select candidates, and I would love to share this knowledge with job-seekers to enable them to find their dream job.


I am the Lead Technical Recruiter for an engineering consulting firm, and I have been in recruiting for over seven years. I have recruited for a variety of positions (exempt, non-exempt, executive) and worked across diverse industries (hi-tech, retail, hospitality, medical device). For more information, please visit my profile on LinkedIn.

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