Expert: Ahmer - 6/25/2009

Question
QUESTION: if a man has committed zina with a woman before marriage and heavily repented but wants a clean woman for marriage who has not committed zina and rejects every woman who has committed zina but also repented, is this fair?

he feels like his heart cannot accept a woman who has touched another man

ANSWER: Salamalaikum.

An unclean wants a clean women. Think from the women's end and see if she wants an unclean man !!

[Quran 24:26] Women impure for men impure, and men impure for women impure and women of purity are for men of purity, and men of purity are for women of purity: these are not affected by what people say: for them there is forgiveness, and a provision honourable.

Where will such women go if you cant marry them, then how come virgin men will marry them ??

rg
ahmer

---------- FOLLOW-UP ----------

QUESTION: i understand it is permissable to marry such a woman if she has repented and i am sure many men would be absolutely fine with marrying such a woman if she has reformed

but this is something that i feel very strongly against. i know i am unclean and have begged Allah for forgiveness but my heart cannot accept an unclean woman as my wife, i want to be the only man who has touched my wife.

a clean woman has the full right to reject me because of my past, i would never ever complain about that because she has the right to reject me. even if an unclean woman were to reject me because she wants a clean husband, i would not complain.

i really can't accept a woman who is not clean, it is a personal thing, i don't think it is ego, i just feel that my ghira is very strong and i will not be able to love my wife properly and it may even bring problems in the marriage. i have tried to make myself accept an unclean woman because I am unclean too but i just can't.

i am afraid that by feeling this way i am going against Allah - is this true?

Answer
Bismillahir-Rahmanir-Rahim (In the Name of Allah, Most Gracious, Most Merciful)

http://www.islamnatural.com/quranhadith.htm

Assalamalalaikum


Dear Hamad,

Pray to Allah and put your desires in front of him and see how your future unfolds.

rg
ahmer