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Islam/confident but afraid of consequences


To ask my question straight away firstly, I would like to explain some key points of it. I am not a very good Muslim but I always try to become one. I from my childhood studied in a no co-education school but for my higher degree i had to study in a co education school; there my reaction to every girl was that whenever a girl talks to me i was used to look down as ALLAH has said to lower your gaze. So it was going fine unless there was a girl whom i saw her just once but MASHALLAH her expressions were soo impresive but i never took a step forward. While she actually studied in a co-education school so for her talking to a guy didn't have that meaning which it had to me. Anyhow, we actually became friends then i made her explain about wht Islam says she understood and we were then not friends but since we were in the same class so i was actually one day bound to take help from her then we actually became friends. We have never did anything bad and always talk about the punishments that ALLAH would (ALLAH forbid) would land upon us if we do even a single thing wrong.
My question is that is there a way that i can do nikkah with her like her family at this point wont allow and i know it,so i wanted to have that relationship with her which is lawful in the sight of ALLAH as since we both have told eachother about what we feel and we both are ready for a nikkah (we both are 19 years old) but not now later. What iam really concerned about is if there is a way i could do nikah with her like without any third person involved? as if yes then atleast Islamically we will be right but socially i do know we wont be but doesn't it that we should matter what really ALLAH think? Iam preety sure that her mom in future wont say no but today yes she would. My primary concern is just being good in the sight of ALLAH.
please, do help me
thank you!

Once you are age of consent you may marry and it your choice and not any parents- 4:3 If ye fear that ye shall not be able to deal justly with the orphans, Marry women of your choice, Two or three or four; but if ye fear that ye shall not be able to deal justly (with them), then only one, or (a captive) that your right hands possess, that will be more suitable, to prevent you from doing injustice.
Note the word your choice in the Quran.


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Imam Habeeb


Being an Educator of Islamic Studies and Interfaith discussions for the past 25 years and having authored seventeen books and numerous articles on Islam - I think I can answer questions on Islam and other religions and issues of the Hanafi jurisprudence as well as general questions on Quran and Sharia. Love, sex and marital problems are some such topics! This is an independent volunteering service and not under any organizational banner that I may be affiliated with. My book- Intimacy and the Sacred talks about Sex and Muslims.


I have helped thousands of people who are troubled both in life experiences and lack of proper Islamic knowledge.

Latest book Five White Roses and A Red a book of Poetry dedicated to my mother.



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Youths and issues of generational gap are my areas too. Families under stress.

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