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Islam/save my married life


Asalam-o-alykum brother, i want to draw your attention to some important issues, which threatening my marrital life since i got married with my cousin.. from the very begenig she was very happy to we both get marry , even me and my family check on her proper agreement. there were no disonanc, so we got engaged and live being fiance for more than years. because she wasn'nt near to got marry her.. she was in saudia & i was in pankistan. during the engagment we both had matual understanding, communication, concencise of being spouse. unfortunately a gape been occured and we both were doesn'nt communicated at least 1 one year.. when my family been asked for my marriage, so they were found that she doesn'nt want to get marry with me.And she was informed her family that i was not happy to get marry with me.what she does is just for both parent happiness. and make different kind of pretendings that what am i  looking to her as brother and so on. i was completelly agree to stop got marriage with her, if she doesn'nt like to get marry.. but my family was too upset about that situation, and they were been realized taunt for being leaving her or not to get marry her.. briefly my family threaten her family and her family made her agree to check on me in pakistan. they were came in last august, and we both had signied on contract and got married..she was her with me for just 20 days, but not been wife after signed a proper contract. because she doesn'nt allowed me what does we both had to do. but i didn'nt forced her for doing anything so i had left her to go back. even she doesn'nt realized that i am her husband. she had left me alone and went back to her family. even i was request her a lot but doesn'nt accept my request and go back to saudia..for the last 7 months she been living there, and i am here in pakistan.. finaly my both parents got agree that i ll go there, i knew they aren'nt happy because i am the only supporter of my family.. and both my parents are aged and no one else to support them. but anyway i have agreedto go there and  14 of this month i ll leave to arabia. even i am going to leave my parents, also i had left a wonderfull job for her.. but i am not sure about her planing and intrest what does she has to do? and i am also sure that she had left me alone it mean my relation doesn'nt have any value for her.. now worrying next step what do if she will do not follow me, in sense when i ll go there.. what does my islamic responsibilites toward my parents and wife in such kind of situation.. kindlly guaide me whatever you can do. jazakAllah

If you are married to her then you have to take care of her and be with her but if your parents depend upon you and there is no one else then you have to find a way to fulfill that obligation and in this case since she seems to be marrying you to please her parents then you should seek marriage elsewhere and keep your parents happy. Marrying one you are pleased with is not disobedience of parents. Not to fulfill the parent's rights is not to ensure their obligations are met and to disrespect them, that is sinful.


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Imam Habeeb


Being an Educator of Islamic Studies and Interfaith discussions for the past 25 years and having authored seventeen books and numerous articles on Islam - I think I can answer questions on Islam and other religions and issues of the Hanafi jurisprudence as well as general questions on Quran and Sharia. Love, sex and marital problems are some such topics! This is an independent volunteering service and not under any organizational banner that I may be affiliated with. My book- Intimacy and the Sacred talks about Sex and Muslims.


I have helped thousands of people who are troubled both in life experiences and lack of proper Islamic knowledge.

Latest book Five White Roses and A Red a book of Poetry dedicated to my mother.



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Muslims and Non Muslims. I love Interfaith activities.
Youths and issues of generational gap are my areas too. Families under stress.

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