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Islam/what should i do?


I am muslim female 23 and single..i want to get married to a person i like but i have never talked to him nor does he know i love him...idont know if he loves me or not...i love him for the past 5 years but i have never found my self confidence to talk to him...he lives in other country...and we have just met once... i can just see him through facebook but i cant send him a friend request because i am too shy and think what wolud my relatives think of me as me and tht boy are far relatives but my family dont have friendly terms with the family linking us family and that boy's family have not much contact with each other...i wonder will Allah ever make me marry him? I pray to Allah to make him my husband and i promised Allah that i will be a best wife for him...what should i do? I have no guts to talk to my parents about this...i feel so helpless..i have only asked Allah to help one knows my love for him but my best friend...even tough she said she can talk to my parents for this but i didnt allow her because i am afraid what would my parents think of me? and secondly i dont know if that boy loves me too...i am not open to any one but my bestfriend and my Allah....i have been waiting for a miracle to happen because i know Allah can do any thing but some times i feel hopeless because i have been asking Allah for something else too and i m still trying to get that thing but its not going ahead...i am kinda sticked to it..and i tried hard to get out of it but i cant get out....but i still hope Allah will help me...i asked Allah if He doesnt want me to get that thing then i want Him to get me my love...plz help me what shall i do? I am afraid if he got married to someone else and i dont want to loose him...

ANSWER: You have to be brave enough to go for what you want before its too late as no one will feel what you feel and Allah has given you the right to marry the one you love and you choose so go for it and be an adult!
recite laa haula walaa quwata illa bilah.

---------- FOLLOW-UP ----------

QUESTION: But how should i ask my parents?can you plz tell me any way to talk to them?

Get them alone at he dinner table and if you can get someone who they listen to to be there so when you speak they listen- and say I love you but I feel like I want to marry the one I love so I may not embarrass you by getting a divorce sooner than you think as when one maries someone they are forced to -this is what happens and in Islam the Quran says marry the one you like.

4:3 If ye fear that ye shall not be able to deal justly with the orphans, Marry women of your choice, Two or three or four; but if ye fear that ye shall not be able to deal justly (with them), then only one, or (a captive) that your right hands possess, that will be more suitable, to prevent you from doing injustice.


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Imam Habeeb


Being an Educator of Islamic Studies and Interfaith discussions for the past 25 years and having authored seventeen books and numerous articles on Islam - I think I can answer questions on Islam and other religions and issues of the Hanafi jurisprudence as well as general questions on Quran and Sharia. Love, sex and marital problems are some such topics! This is an independent volunteering service and not under any organizational banner that I may be affiliated with. My book- Intimacy and the Sacred talks about Sex and Muslims.


I have helped thousands of people who are troubled both in life experiences and lack of proper Islamic knowledge.

Latest book Five White Roses and A Red a book of Poetry dedicated to my mother.



Past/Present Clients
Muslims and Non Muslims. I love Interfaith activities.
Youths and issues of generational gap are my areas too. Families under stress.

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