Islam/Brother in law problems
I am married to my maternal cousin for 26 years. His younger brother(54 years old) is also my cousin, of course. I do not get along with his brother and I never did. We moved back to the states and I've been so happy to be away from him. He had caused us problems our whole marriage and is the huge reason for our fights. We've been back here for over 15 years. He has been trying to come to the states for the last several years and finally my husband sent him a ticket. My husband asked me to let him live with us while he looked for work. I was very much against this but I agreed for my husband and agreed for only 3 weeks. He came in June and stayed with us. The three weeks became 3 months. Finally after begging my husband he told him that he has to find another place now because he had been working. He moved in with some coworkers. So the first week he was away I didn't go to work one day. I came down stairs without my hijab in my own home and found him there! I was very upset and called my husband who called him and told him to leave. I was very upset that he just came into my house without permission because he knows the code to come in! My husband told me he yelled at him and it was over. He still came over for dinner a few times then we realized that he took an artwork piece from our house. It wasn't expensive but he took it without permission. My husband told him it is wrong and he said he didn't think we wanted it. Now I told my husband I do not want him in my house ever again. Is he wants to meet him they can meet outside. Even the kids ( all adults) can keep in touch with him but no more in my house. Now my husband is fighting with me saying that he will bring him if he wants. I can not bear to see him again. I don't want my husband to be upset but this is also making me very upset. He plans in staying in the states forever now and wants to bring his family eventually. Do I have a right to say he can't come to my house?
Bismillahir-Rahmanir-Rahim (In the Name of Allah, Most Gracious, Most Merciful)
I understand that you must have strong reasons not to let him enter the house. Is their any other reason besides what is mentioned ( like has he ever sexually exploited you or something of that sort ? )
Allah orders us to deal a middle way in each matters.
[Quran 57:20] Know that the life of this world is merely a game
and a diversion and ostentation and a cause of
boasting among yourselves and trying to outdo one
another in wealth and children: like the plantgrowth
after rain which delights the cultivators, but
then it withers and you see it turning yellow, and
then it becomes broken stubble. In the hereafter
there is terrible punishment but also forgiveness
from Allah and His good pleasure. The life of this
world is nothing but the enjoyment of delusion.
[Quran 42:40] The recompense for an evil is an evil like thereof; but whoever forgives and makes reconciliation, his reward is with Allah. Verily, He likes not the Zalimun (oppressors, polytheists, and wrong-doers).
So you have 2 options - either ban him from your house - or forgive him so that Allah too forgives you for your mistakes.
Its my duty to help those in need. You are free to ask as many questions as you like.
If you are not convinced or feel the answer did not address all your questions, pls write back immediately without any hesitation. Please do forgive me if there is an unexpected delay in replying.
Pls spare some time and see these small video clips.
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( Note: I am not a mufti, if you are in doubt or want 100% accuracy please verify the above hadith with an authentic personality. However I have not altered any hadith and presented it as and how it was found. May Allah forgive our mistakes from time to time...ameen.)