Islam/parents vs children
My question is that Islam says not to say even a little thing ever to the parents.
But what if parents are really wrong in some matters and if we defend our self but it seems harsh. If parents never listen to their children and they make fights every time. Suppose they believe others rubbish talks rather thier own blood's truth. and disrespect them. What should children's back reaction? How long they will bear wrong things? Will Allah punish them if they defend themself with shout sometimes?
Bismillahir-Rahmanir-Rahim (In the Name of Allah, Most Gracious, Most Merciful)
i am sorry i need to understand the situation prior to giving any answer.
So please let me know what exactl you are going through in order to provide a correct solution to your problems.
Shahih Bukhari Volumn 003, Book 034, Hadith Number267
Narated By An-Nu'man bin Bashir : The Prophet (SAW) said "Both legal and illegal things are obvious, and in between them are (suspicious) doubtful matters. So who-ever forsakes those doubtful things lest he may commit a sin, will definitely avoid what is clearly illegal; and who-ever indulges in these (suspicious) doubtful things bravely, is likely to commit what is clearly illegal. Sins are Allah's Hima (i.e. private pasture) and whoever pastures (his sheep) near it, is likely to get in it at any moment."
[Quran 31:14-15] We enjoined man to show kindness to his parents, for with much pain his mother bears him and he is not weaned before he is two years of age. We said: ‘Give thanks to Me and to your parents. To Me shall all things return. But if they press you to serve besides Me that of which you have no knowledge, do not obey them. Remain kind to them in this world, and turn to Me with all devotion. To Me you shall all return, and I will declare to you everything you have done.
[Quran 17:23] Your Lord has decreed that you worship none but Him, and that you be kind to parents. Whether one or both of them attain old age in your life, say not to them a word of contempt, nor repel them, but address them in terms of honour.
[Quran 17:24] And lower to them the wing of humility out of mercy and say, "My Lord, have mercy upon them as they brought me up [when I was] small."
[Quran 2:83] And remember We took a covenant from the Children of Israel (to this effect): Worship none but Allah (God); treat with kindness your parents and kindred, and orphans and those in need; speak fair to the people; be steadfast in prayer; and practise reg ular charity. Then did you turn back, except a few among you, and you backslide (even now).
[Quran 2:215] They ask you what they should spend (In charity). Say: Whatever you spend that is good, is for parents and kindred and orphans and those in want and for wayfarers. And whatever you do that is good, -Allah (God) knoweth it well.
[Quran 4:36] Serve Allah (God), and join not any partners with Him; and do good- to parents, kinsfolk, orphans, those in need, neighbours who are near, neighbours who are strangers, the companion by your side, the wayfarer (you meet), and what your right hands poss ess: For Allah (God) loveth not the arrogant, the vainglorious;-
[Quran 12:99] Then when they entered the presence of Joseph, he provided a home for his parents with himself, and said: "Enter you Egypt (all) in safety if it please Allah (God)."
[Quran 12:100] And he raised his parents high on the throne (of dignity), and they fell down in prostration, (all) before him. He said: "O my father! this is the fulfilment of my vision of old! Allah (God) has made it come true! He was indeed good to me when He took me out of prison and brought you (all here) out of the desert, (even) after Satan had sown enmity between me and my brothers. Verily my Lord understandeth best the mysteries of all that He planneth to do, for verily He is full of knowledge and wisdom
Bukhari Volumn 001, Book 010, Hadith Number 505.
Narated By 'Abdullah : I asked the Prophet "Which deed is the dearest to Allah?" He replied, "To offer the prayers at their early stated fixed times." I asked, "What is the next (in goodness)?" He replied, "To be good and dutiful to your parents" I again asked, "What is the next (in goodness)?" He replied, 'To participate in Jihad (religious fighting) in Allah's cause." 'Abdullah added, "I asked only that much and if I had asked more, the Prophet would have told me more."
Bukhari Volumn 003, Book 034, Hadith Number 418.
Narated By Ibn 'Umar : The Prophet said, "While three persons were walking, rain began to fall and they had to enter a cave in a mountain. A big rock rolled over and blocked the mouth of the cave. They said to each other, 'Invoke Allah with the best deed you have performed (so Allah might remove the rock)'. One of them said, 'O Allah! My parents were old and I used to go out for grazing (my animals). On my return I would milk (the animals) and take the milk in a vessel to my parents to drink. After they had drunk from it, I would give it to my children, family and wife. One day I was delayoud and on my return I found my parents sleeping, and I disliked to wake them up. The children were crying at my feet (because of hunger). That state of affairs continued till it was dawn. O Allah! If You regard that I did it for Your sake, then please remove this rock so that we may see the sky.' So, the rock was moved a bit. The second said, 'O Allah! You know that I was in love with a cousin of mine, like the deepest love a man may have for a woman, and she told me that I would not get my desire fulfilled unless I paid her one-hundred Dinars (gold pieces). So, I struggled for it till I gathered the desired amount, and when I sat in between her legs, she told me to be afraid of Allah, and asked me not to deflower her except rightfully (by marriage). So, I got up and left her. O Allah! If You regard that I did if for Your sake, kindly remove this rock.' So, two-thirds of the rock was removed. Then the third man said, 'O Allah! No doubt You know that once I employoud a worker for one Faraq (three Sa's) of millet, and when I wanted to pay him, he refused to take it, so I sowed it and from its yield I bought cows and a shepherd. After a time that man came and demanded his money. I said to him: Go to those cows and the shepherd and take them for they are for you. He asked me whether I was joking with him. I told him that I was not joking with him, and all that belonged to him. O Allah! If You regard that I did it sincerely for Your sake, then please remove the rock.' So, the rock was removed completely from the mouth of the cave."
Bukhari Volumn 003, Book 048, Hadith Number 821.
Narated By Anas : The Prophet was asked about the great sins He said, "They are:
1. To join others in worship with Allah.
2. To be undutiful to one's parents.
3. To kill a person (which Allah has forbidden to kill) (i.e. to commit the crime of murdering).
Bukhari Volumn 004, Book 052, Hadith Number 248.
Narated By 'Abdullah bin 'Amr : A man came to the Prophet asking his permission to take part in Jihad. The Prophet asked him, "Are your parents alive?" He replied in the affirmative. The Prophet said to him, "Then exert yourself in their service."
Its my duty to help those in need. You are free to ask as many questions as you like.
If you are not convinced or feel the answer did not address all your questions, pls write back immediately without any hesitation. Please do forgive me if there is an unexpected delay in replying.
Pls spare some time and see these small video clips.
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( Note: I am not a mufti, if you are in doubt or want 100% accuracy please verify the above hadith with an authentic personality. However I have not altered any hadith and presented it as and how it was found. May Allah forgive our mistakes from time to time...ameen.)