Islam/marriage issues for converts
I am a revert with no known Muslims in my immediate or extended family. I would really like to marry this Muslim man that I have known for six years. He has expressed to me that he fears the influence that my non-Muslim family will have on any children we have. I on the other hand I understand all the sacrifices and hard work put into my conversion and I know I will do whatever it takes to protect my children and their religion. I know that it wonít be easy but with Allah, good faith, hard work and many sacrifices that our children will be guided on the straight path. I also know that I may have to move away from my family to achieve this. I struggle with this decision because I want to be around my family so that I can be an example of what true Islam is and what it means to me so they might one day understand but I donít want to put my kids at risks to do so. What can I do to reassure the man I want to marry and also myself that my kids can be guided to the straight path?
Bismillahir-Rahmanir-Rahim (In the Name of Allah, Most Gracious, Most Merciful)
I am sorry to learn about your situation. Its sometimes hard for reverts to settle but don't worry Allah is their for you.
Its very simple - ask this man whome you want to marry that what he wants the terms of marriage should be and how he desires that life should continue after marriage and what should be the approach to be connected to the family members in such a way that they may be unable to influence your married life !
As far as re-assurance is concerned - he should be convinced that nothing bad can happen if his hands are sending good deeds.
[Nisa 4:147] What can Allah/God gain by your punishment, if you are grateful and you believe? Nay, it is Allah/God that recognises/appreciates (all good), and Knows all things.
[Nisa 4:79] Whatever good, (O man!) happens to you, is from Allah/God; but whatever evil happens to you, is from your (own) soul.
Its my duty to help those in need. You are free to ask as many questions as you like.
If you are not convinced or feel the answer did not address all your questions, pls write back immediately without any hesitation. Please do forgive me if there is an unexpected delay in replying.
Pls spare some time and see these small video clips.
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( Note: I am not a mufti, if you are in doubt or want 100% accuracy please verify the above hadith with an authentic personality. However I have not altered any hadith and presented it as and how it was found. May Allah forgive our mistakes from time to time...ameen.)