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QUESTION: Salam sir.. please answer my question its very important for me

if a person is like to have a diffrent kind of sex (not normal) bdsm sex .. he is a sadist and he needs a masochism.. he is not fulfilled by normal sex not even 1%.. and there are poeple like him out there in the world (masochism) ..only 5% when compared to 100% people but still they are there.

But to find these people he must go beyond the boundaries of islam (talk to girls , meet them , flirt them , take them on date and talk a little about sex to see if both are compatible) this all with a view to marry her if it works out..

Q.so is he allowed to do that..

and if he decides not to do that just cause its out of boundries of islam and do arranged marriage and scarifies his entire sex life and live without ever getting sexually fulfilled cause he cant do that to his wife as she will not be a masochism..

Q. then will it be considered as zulum(self destruction) on himself or a sacrifice for god ?

ANSWER: Wallaikum As Salaam!

The answer to your question is in your question itself.

You said, he is a sadist, which means he is not normal and influenced by satanic pleasures.
First of all, that person has to see a doctor if he still has the fear of the Almighty Allah,
or else a dangerous man is on the prowl/loose in the society.

For your information, the Almighty Allah is not asking any of his creations to sacrifice for
the creator, because whatever that is being asked from the creation is for one's own good and
to the Society we live in.

Only thing the Almighty Alaah is asking in return from us is the gratitude for being blessed
with so many things through Salat and rememberance when ever we are happy and sad in our lives.

May the Almighty Allah have mercy on us to forgive our sins and guide us all to the true path
of Islam as per the Koran for rest of our lives.

---------- FOLLOW-UP ----------

QUESTION: Oh my god.. did you just say all sadist are satans ? do you have any idea what you are talking about ?

do you know what bdsm is ?

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/BDSM

do you know what saddist in bdsm means ?

it dose not mean he is a cold blooded killer.. it just means that he enjoys giving a little pain while having sex..

which is completely ok.. there are like a million sadist and its proven by science that there is nothing wrong with that in many articles..

and do you know what masochism is ?

that means they enjoy taking a little pain while having sex..

for every sadist there is a masochism in this world.. and i have seen a lot of couples who practice bdsm and are sadist and masochism..

there is nothing wrong with it..in india its not yet there(it has started in mubmai and delhi) cause india is far behind in world cultures but you can look around on google about bdsm..

there are centers in the world where they teach bdsm..

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Munch_%28BDSM%29

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/BDSM#Psychological_categorization

leave out everything else.. and Imam Habeeb on this site only.. he will tell you as he is from canada..

anyhow that is only for your information..read the whole wiki page and you can know about it.. or you can ask to any islamic or any other sex expert..

however.. after you have read this information can you please go back to my question with a open mind and answer it..

Thanks..

ANSWER: As Salaam Alaikum!

Boss, I don know which world you are living, but for your information the culture/social system & earliest civilisation started in india, Mesopotamia & Egypt.

So these nations lived and experienced everything and has identified where to draw a line, just
because the first world now is experiencing these & call BDSM/Machoism. doesn't mean we should
ape them.

Further Sadist is not the correct word in this contest, Sadist is one who derives the pleasure at the pain of another, where as BDSM and machoism if a man knows where to draw a line both spouses can derive pleasures in which manner they want.

Please check the true meaning of a sadist and then you will understand.

For your information,a woman' pleasures goes along with pain and its called sweet pain during
sex, like biting with teeth and lips on her sensual parts as well as slow penetration when she is not too wet and sometimes softly hurting her fat on sides of her hips by holding tightly in
the palm & so on. And a man should stop the BDSM the moment the pain over takes the pleasure in the woman, which then gets into sadism as only man enjoys it at the expense of woman's pain.

Lastly but not least both of you do whatever you both want to enjoy in the bed without forcing
anything on one another as the Almighty Allah has not stopped or restricted the spouses from
enjoying so far the satan's influence drives you both crossing the thin boundary line in the myth of exploring new excitements in bed.

Listen to your conscience what it says keeping Koran's knowledge and understanding in mind & am
sure Inshallah you live within the teachings of Islam.

"But to find these people he must go beyond the boundaries of Islam (talk to girls , meet them , flirt them , take them on date and talk a little about sex to see if both are compatible) this all with a view to marry her if it works out."

Wow, compatibility in the bed, that lasts till both gets what they want and what happens after that in a marriage to go on..... I don't call it compatibility for a marriage to last long my friend!

If you are satisfied from Imam Habib's interpretations on BDSM etc. why are still asking others
,which means your conscience is not accepting IH's interpretations?

The Alighty Allah blessed me wisdom through my travels to more than half of the world and 2/3rd of India that I don't need anyones reference or books to change my opinion/understanding that based on the Koran on matters prohibited by the Almighty Allah.

May the Almighty Allah have mercy on us to forgive our sins and guide us all to the true path of Islam as per the Koran for rest of our life.

---------- FOLLOW-UP ----------

QUESTION: No its the exact opposite of that..when i get what i want ill throw it away to see if it comes back to me..to see if.its mine..

He ansewered me the answer i wanted and the answer which was right..but if i just took it moved on then that would be selfish of me..that why i needed to extend the limits even more and ask some one else to see if they answer the same..and yes the answer was same..

Yes u r right saidist in real.life means that..

No u r wrong..the tearm in bdsm still goes as sadist

No u r wrong..sweet pain is not a part of bdsm..its a part of sex (normal sex any one will taje it )

No you are wrong..the one i am looking for is not the one who like sweet pain..i want a. Masochism..who will take pain..not sweet pain..every girl in this world will want sweet pain..but.pain is not sweet..its a very diffrent thing..

And yes u might have traveled the world..but u were not born into bdsm..i was..so i will know it better than any 1 else..its a diffrent thing to read the book and diffrent thing to be the book..

And yes you and i both are right. .we can do what ever we want in bed as long as there is no force and its done by consent of both the patners..

Answer
As Salaam Alaikum!

Am reproducing the meaning of Sadomaochism below from the Wikipedia:

"In psychiatry, the terms sadism and masochism describe a personality type characterized by the individual deriving pleasure and gratification from either inflicting or receiving physical pain and/or humiliation, respectively. In some cases the pleasure and gratification may be sexual but in others sexual pleasure is not experienced, and it may involve deriving the pleasure from masochistic or sadist behaviour towards the opposite gender or same gender as self. Some individuals appear to be exclusively sadist and others exclusively masochistic in deriving their pleasure, but many alternately derive pleasure from sadist and masochistic thoughts and experiences involving themselves and others.
The term sadomasochism denotes the co-occurrence of sadism and masochism in one person, as discrete mental disorders. Some contend masochism to be the spiritual inner self-punishment for acts inwardly acknowledged to be sadism. In psychiatric theory, the term "sadomasochism" may be used exclusively. The medical definitions (denotations and connotations) of "sadism" and "masochism" have been modified as required by medical progress, since the Austrian psychiatrist Richard Freiherr von Krafft-Ebing (18401902) introduced the terms to psychiatry in the 19th century. This article presents the development of "sadism" and "masochism" as medical terms, leading to their contemporary definitions as a paraphilia in the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (DSM). As erotic practices, the sadomasochistic subculture, and related matters, are noted historically."

In medical terms it is a disorder that has to be treated, anyway if you still think it's not, then its your choice/decision.

Wisdom comes through travel and experiences and I don't want or desire to be born into bdsm as
am well satisfied with what the Almighty Allah has blessed me with so far in my life.

But do remember that Satan will always be sitting on the fence to divert us from the thin line
between sins & virtues. And easy influence during the time when our faith wavers to walk that extra mile to explore the unknown in committing unpardonable sins. So why invite the Satan in the first place.

Let's end this here in case we have difference of opinion on the above as you can follow what
others has to say and according to your conscience if my opinion is not digestible to you.

May the Almighty Allah have mercy on us to forgive our sins and guide us all to the true path
of Islam as per the Koran for rest of our life.

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