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Islam/Adultery by mother


Assalam alaikum!

I am deeply distressed due to an issue regarding my mother.Ever since I remember,she has been talking with strange unknown men on phone and did even invite some of them to our house,when my father was away at work.As far as I know she didn't have physical contact with them, but of late,I came to know that she did display some sort of physical affection towards one unmarried person(not related to us at all) and my younger siblings,who are still in school saw them.
That man would kiss my mother infront of my siblings on the cheek and stayed at my house till late at night.
I stay in uk and my father works and stays in Saudi Arabia.When I was in college,I knew that she chatted with strange ppl online and even met them in person in restaurants.
She came to visit me in uk 2 years back and that time her behaviour was really really strange.She kept chatting and calling someone,but i was oblivious of the fact.Then one day,she used my husband's phone to chat with a man and my husband read her chat messages on his phone later that day and told me about it.Whatever was written in those messages was not good and was clear that she was having an affair with that man.Later on,I told my father about it and we confronted her.She made promises of not doing it again and kept her hand on Quran and swore.
But recently,when i went back to my home country for a visit,I realized she is still talking to men on the phone and is hardly paying attention to the house,or my siblings.Infact,she is spending my father's hard earned money in these kind of things and has forgotten the value of money.
I told my father again, and then my mother called me and cursed me and said words I can never ever forget in my life.
My main concern here is that I have now stopped talking to her,over the phone or internet because it is becoming impossible for me to tolerate her adulterous behaviour.She has denied everything this time,but we are very sure that she is talking to men as me and my sister saw phone number and text messages in her phone.
In Quran it is mentioned that we have to be obedient to our parents and everything,but here,I really am lost as to what I should do.I have always been very obedient and respectful towards both my parents and I still am towards my father.
I already have a few problems in my own life and do not want to sin and get into more troubled waters.I basically thought I would give my mother time to think over the things she told me and to make her realize that she is in sin.I do not want to talk to her for a few months and then see how the situation is.Is that alright religion wise? Or will I be committing a sin by doing so?Please please do advise.
Thank you.

What she does is not your busienss and you have no evidence or right to judge her nor complain against her. And to leave her as a mother and not talk to her for acperiod of time until you can have acdecent relationnship is allowed . But docnot stop communicating with her as she needs your support. She is bored.


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Imam Habeeb


Being an Educator of Islamic Studies and Interfaith discussions for the past 25 years and having authored seventeen books and numerous articles on Islam - I think I can answer questions on Islam and other religions and issues of the Hanafi jurisprudence as well as general questions on Quran and Sharia. Love, sex and marital problems are some such topics! This is an independent volunteering service and not under any organizational banner that I may be affiliated with. My book- Intimacy and the Sacred talks about Sex and Muslims.


I have helped thousands of people who are troubled both in life experiences and lack of proper Islamic knowledge.

Latest book Five White Roses and A Red a book of Poetry dedicated to my mother.



Past/Present Clients
Muslims and Non Muslims. I love Interfaith activities.
Youths and issues of generational gap are my areas too. Families under stress.

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