Islam/plz help me.
I am 23 single female...i have never been in haram relation..but i fell in one sided love to a boy 4 years ago..i know thinking of him is haram and to turn that in to halal i want to marry him..tough i never talked to him nor does he know i love him...i find him a good and islamic person..i am scared if i may not loose him because i love him truly and after too much thinking upon this i decided to tell my mother about him..i am very shy but i told this to my mother...it was really really hard for me to open up my heart to her but i did just because i thought i may not get late but my expectations always hurt me..my mother refused helping me..she said i am a girl and its not good in our tradition where girls parents asks the boys parents for their son's hand in marrage...secondly she said the relatives linking us two would talk rot because we dont have friendly terms with the family linking us two...i really felt bad when my mother judged him without knowing him...we shouldnt judge people just because someone lives in a place where girls and boys meet is no harm..am i right?...i love my self being a girl but sometime i hate being a girl..doesnt islam allow girls parents to go ask the boys parents for marrage?am i doing wrong?has Allah given me the right to choose my spouse myself?should i talk to the boy to ask my hand for marrage?(tough its haram talking to a boy and i am sure he too wouldnt like this)...i wonder what would have RASOOL-E-PAK(P.B.U.H) suggested me to do?i am really depressed..i am hoping of a miracle to happen...i ask Allah for him every time..will a miracle ever happen?
Bismillahir-Rahmanir-Rahim (In the Name of Allah, Most Gracious, Most Merciful)
Beforehand please do istikhara first.
Bukhari Vol 2, Book 21. prayer At Night (Tahajjud). Hadith 263.
Narrated By Jabir bin 'Abdullah : The Prophet (p.b.u.h) used to teach us the way of doing Istikhara (Istikhara means to ask Allah to guide one to the right sort of action concerning any job or a deed), in all matters as he taught us the Suras of the Qur'an. He said, "If anyone of you thinks of doing any job he should offer a two Rakat prayer other than the compulsory ones and say (after the prayer): 'Allahumma inni astakhiruka bi'ilmika, Wa astaqdiruka bi-qudratika, Wa as'alaka min fadlika al-'azlm Fa-innaka taqdiru Wala aqdiru, Wa ta'lamu Wala a'lamu, Wa anta 'allamu l-ghuyub. Allahumma, in kunta ta'lam anna hadha-l-amra Khairun li fi dini wa ma'ashi wa'aqibati amri (or 'ajili amri wa'ajilihi) Faqdirhu wa yas-sirhu li thumma barik li Fihi, Wa in kunta ta'lamu anna hadha-lamra shar-run li fi dini wa ma'ashi wa'aqibati amri (or fi'ajili amri wa ajilihi) Fasrifhu anni was-rifni anhu. Waqdir li al-khaira haithu kana Thumma ardini bihi.' (O Allah! I ask guidance from Your knowledge, And Power from Your Might and I ask for Your great blessings. You are capable and I am not. You know and I do not and You know the unseen. O Allah! If You know that this job is good for my religion and my subsistence and in my Hereafter... (or said: If it is better for my present and later needs). Then You ordain it for me and make it easy for me to get, And then bless me in it, and if You know that this job is harmful to me In my religion and subsistence and in the Hereafter... (or said: If it is worse for my present and later needs). Then keep it away from me and let me be away from it. And ordain for me whatever is good for me, And make me satisfied with it). The Prophet added that then the person should name (mention) his need.
The dua is available in arabic text in the following website
Its my duty to help those in need. You are free to ask as many questions as you like.
If you are not convinced or feel the answer did not address all your questions, pls write back immediately without any hesitation. Please do forgive me if there is an unexpected delay in replying.
Pls spare some time and see these small video clips.
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love affairs & Islam
( Note: I am not a mufti, if you are in doubt or want 100% accuracy please verify the above hadith with an authentic personality. However I have not altered any hadith and presented it as and how it was found. May Allah forgive our mistakes from time to time...ameen.)