Islam/Can a woman have two husbands under the law?
QUESTION: Salaam Aleikum, Brother.
My situation is this... My lovely wife, Aisha, and I have been happily married for 13 years. We have two beautiful children. We are very happy and nothing was missing in our married life.
Nearly 2 years ago my best friend, Aslam, returned from another country where he had been living with his own wife and two children. His wife had left him and took their children. He was lonely, broken and shattered; he had even tried to kill himself before returning. I hadn't seen him in 15 years but nonetheless, he is still very much a part of my heart. We were always as close as brothers, and I love him as a brother.
Aslam moved in with us and we began to help him get his life back together. We showed him love, and that he was a person worth loving. We prayed with him. We helped him see that Allah (subhanahu wa ta'ala) is merciful and compassionate and still has a plan for him even though he was broken. Over time he responded to our love and he is becoming a whole person again slowly.
At some point the relationship between Aslam and my wife became more than friendship. This happened slowly, and with my knowledge and consent. There was no illicit affair and no feelings of betrayal. He is deeply in love with Aisha now, and she with him. It has not damaged any part of my relationship with my wife and the three of us are closer than ever as friends. Aisha said she would marry him if she could, and they have exchanged private vows as a commitment to each other, and I have asked merciful God to bless them as He has blessed Aisha and I.
Aslam and I both have a sexual relationship with Aisha, sometimes together, sometimes separately, and we both support her physically and emotionally. My friend and I are NOT homosexual nor do we have any desire for that kind of relationship; we just both love Aisha and there is no jealousy nor competition between us.
My children love Aslam and he cares for them as would a favorite loving Uncle. We are a very happy family... So my question is this: Is our relationship pleasing to Allah (subhanahu wa ta'ala)? We all love each other so much, and we all love God, too. We want to be sure we are doing right. Men can marry up to 4 wives - may our Aisha have us both as husbands?
Many thanks for listening to my long story. I thank you for your advice and wisdom, whatever it brings.
ANSWER: Wallaikum As Salaam!
Asthaqhfirullah! May the Almighty Allah have mercy on us and save us from walking in the path
All 3 of you have committed a grave sin which will be forgivable only if it's committed out of
ignorance and only the Almighty Allah knows.
You are the first offender/sinner because as a head of the family & a husband who is supposed
to be the protector of his wife from emotional/physical straying and from other men as well as
other dangers apart from the Almighty Allah.
How did you allow your friend to stay in your house knowing pretty well that your friend and
your wife will be left alone in the house when you go to work & children to school unless you
deliberately wanted it to happen to spice up your sexual life making your wife a scape goat.
It is well known fact that in any religions as well as in all the societies we live in that a
wife cannot have 2 husbands at a time.
And what about the children why do they have to suffer in the society because of you guys kinky
And how can you call him a friend and is it the way he pays back for whatver help both of you
have rendered to him. In my opion he exploited both of you & apprehensive now if his wife left
him or he left her in the lerch.
Do you think this spicy/kinky pleasures lasts forever, no sooner boredom sets in sometime or
other, then all of you will look for something more exiting. These satanic temptation is bound
to continue till it destroys your life.
And the vicitms of you guys spicy/kinky pleasures are the kids and your wife who may be having
a whale of a time now but the day is not far away when you both feels like shunning her away
from each one of your lives as she grows older & the children hate her as they grow up to find
out about these kinky sexual pleasures of you all.
I really dont know what and how to adivse you all, unless you come out with the truth that lead
all you into this as well as your profession, wife and your friend. And am curious to know the
country of origin of all of you.
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May the Almighty Allah have mercy on us to forgive our sins and gide us all to the true path of
Islam as per the Koran for rest of our life.
---------- FOLLOW-UP ----------
QUESTION: Salaam Aleikum,
Thank you for your answers, teacher. I will try to give you more information as you requested.
The truth that led us all to this is as I've told you, teacher. It began as an expression of love and charity to my friend, who had nowhere else to go when he returned after his wife left him and took his children. (He did not leave her. She took their children and moved away. The stress and pain of that caused him to have a nervous breakdown)
I knew that he would be alone with Aisha, but it isn't unusual to see women and men being friends here in Canada where we live. And I didn't know that there would be anything more than friendship between them until much later when she told me she had deeper feelings for Aslam.
It did not start as a way to spice up our sex life, teacher. My sex life with Aisha was wonderful, lacking in nothing, as it still is.
Thank you for your wisdom,
With great respect,
ANSWER: Wallaikum As salaam!
Well not only in Canada but else where too man n woman r seen
Together but definite not left alone in closed doors day by day and
its fooolish not to expect of this sort to happen.
You hear only 1 side of the story of your friend living his wife n becos
he is your friend you give benefit of doubt to him but definitely not me
as I don't know the reasons why she left him along with kids.
If you feel it's only love that has happened between your wife n yr friend
and if sex between u n yr wife is still the same then why did the urge of
sex has arised etween them.
The Almighty Allah and u 3 knows the truth but the fact of the matter is
in Islaam n in the society this relationship is forbidden.
Further, how you n your wife face your kids when they grow up to find
out and what religious preachings n teachings u both can imbibe in them.
Think of all these and fear the Almighty Allah's wrath in thus wotld m on
the judgemt day to take a decision now to end this haraam way of living.
Are u people Pakistani origin?
If you need any further help and advise, you are must welcome on this matter.
May the Almigty Allah have mercy on us to forgive our sins and guide us all to
the true path of Islaam.
---------- FOLLOW-UP ----------
QUESTION: Thank you teacher. I will speak to my wife and my friend about our relationship and how we maybe have to make some changes. Thank you for your honesty. My wife is Indian but Aslam and I are both from Afghanistan.
I suggest all 3 can write to me about the true feelings of each other and how each one feeling on having commited this sin. And for your information there's no changes or compromise or make adjustment in a haraam relationship.
All 3 of u seems to be educated and must be in a responsible position in each of your profession and in the society too, so do not destroy yourself in this life and in the eternal life.
May the Almighty Allah gave mercy on us to forgive our sins and guide us all to the true path of Isl as per the Koran for rest of our life.