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Salaam,

I have been separated from my family since birth. My parents have done everything they can to separate me from my grandparents, cousins, uncles, etc. I am Iranian and most of my family lives in Iran. I have grown up here in the U.S. and very recently have begun to realize the root of my problems. My parents have cut relations with their families and I am now 21 and a sick, exhasued, and alone. My family is either ill, grown up, or dead.My parents have done nothing to help them and they lie to me and backbite about me. When I was In Iran, they told my family and friends family everything I told them. Me and my parents argued over the phone and I said a few things. My father decided to tell my friends family behind my back. When I arrived at my fiends house, everyone looked at me as if I was some maniac. I was so ashamed and stunned. I have so many regrets and jealousies. My parents have taken everything away from me: Deen, language, culture, Iran. We never visted my famly and only after fighting with my parents I have gone only three times. My father hasent seen his family in almost forty years. Now everyone has adapted and grown up without me and I am as if a stranger especially toward my cousins.I recently had feeling toward one of my cousins and we wanted to be together. My parents from the beginning we furious I was taking to my girl cousin. We chatted on Yahoo Messenger and my parents behing my back, to my email passsoword and looked at what we said. Last year when I went to visit my cousin, whom I had feelings for, everyone bothered her so much. I later found out my parents since the beginning were syping on our emails and wanted tp destroy our relationship. Now she is ashamed and I don't think she likes me anymore. I had feelings for her and I regert much how they hurt her and how we were not together from the beginning. I trusted my parents they wouldn't look at my emails and I didn't make a secret email. I always try to please my paretns, I go to school and come home study. I give them gifts I talks to them. They just crushed me. All my cousins are lean and well feed and around family and grandparents except me whom my parents have not treated me well so I am very thin and sick. of all the grandchildern I am the sickest and weakest even my sister was well feed. When I was little I was always getting sick. I once had a seizure and had meningitis which struck my spine and I was close to being paralyzed. I fell from somebodies arms when I was little and have a huge scar on my head. My head always seems to hurt and I have heart murmur. My cousins and sister are tall, well fed, and have almost no health issues. I am extrmely jealous and do not know whay I am not like them. I am also gooing baldIts is embarrising only these pat two months have I begun eating really well and my eye sight began to improve. I have been bored my whole life and since twelve have been addicted to istimna and zina I had no one to tell me it was bad and am now very burned out.I am burned out I have barley seen my homeland.I have no luck in life. Nothing goes as planned. I have very bad luck. This year, I went to Iran and some how my cousin joined the millitary, my grandparnt couldnt walk, and when we were about to go a road trip, my grandfathers head hit the door and almost died. The nurse said that if it hit furthur down he would have died. My uncle was moving and I had a misreble time in Iran. Everyone around me believes my parents and blame me for my problmes. I so hurt inside. When I talk to people or friends and family they do not understand what I am going through. They think I am ungrateful.I have such pressu My parents sho off how little money they make when they are rich and make excellent money. Both are engineers and work in big companies. My dad lies and complaiens how little money he earns when clearly he makes a lot. He comlaines to me how I should workd and drive to scholl. They wont even take me to school without problems. I am convicned my paretns hate me and are planning to send me of little by little. My dad has not seen or helped his family so they are not so well off. Then he complains how he's poor and has no money. My cousins are tired of Iran and are just jelpous I am in America. I can't even talk to them without getting heart broken. They are really hurtful to me. Everyone has been hurtful to me. These stupid parents play a film out of me. They are nice to everyone except me. They are so tricky that most people, not even my sister, realize how they have hurt me. Now my family is being given money so they think that my dad is an angel. All my parents intentions have twists in them. They blacken everything in my life before I get to experience it. In the end, I am alone, sick, and everyone thinks I am crazy. Even my own sister wont believe me. Cutting relations is one of the worst sin's and my parents have done this without regret for forty years. I beleivev some family died of regret for them not even calling them. I try to do go and have good intentions always. I give money to power and try to read and want to help muslims. My grandfater is originally from Iraq and I am heartbroken at what has happened to Iraq. I wish to help my people and hate what has happened to Iraq. My silly mother still thinks with the hope of Allah and still does these things. This is such extreme pain and Its obvious I am not being feed. I have Everyone I see around me and in college has family and friends.I want to ask, why has this befallen me? Why are my parents like this? I have prayed sooo much and my luck has unchanged.Why am I the only one in my family like this? I am burned out, think, and have much regret. I wanted to grow with someone or some Uncle or in Iran where I could learn Islam. I am tired of the U.S the way people dress and act its as if I've been posined. I am extrmeley ashamed of being here as a Muslim but I can't leave. My plan is to finish my bachelors and join the Iranian Millitary. Is this a good plan and will it succede? I wish to free myself from America. Why is this happening what is the point no one else is like me in the family and I'm just suffering from my parents sins? What is the outcome? Also, are there other sites I can use to send this information? If you more info please tell me. Thank you
If you need more info, please email me. I think I will reedit this.

Answer
You are now an adult and are responsible. Now that you know he truth be a man and stand up for yourself. You have To love where you are. America has been kind to you. You will not fit into Iran just like that and it's too harmful for you to join the Iranian military. Instead go to school in America and get a job and live your life. You will find the love of your life and be happy. Recite laa haula walaa quwata illa billah frequently. BEGIN YOUR DAILY PRAYERS.

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Imam Habeeb

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Being an Educator of Islamic Studies and Interfaith discussions for the past 25 years and having authored seventeen books and numerous articles on Islam - I think I can answer questions on Islam and other religions and issues of the Hanafi jurisprudence as well as general questions on Quran and Sharia. Love, sex and marital problems are some such topics! This is an independent volunteering service and not under any organizational banner that I may be affiliated with. My book- Intimacy and the Sacred talks about Sex and Muslims. http://www.iuniverse.com/Bookstore/BookDetail.aspx?BookId=SKU-000463374

Experience

I have helped thousands of people who are troubled both in life experiences and lack of proper Islamic knowledge.

Organizations
Latest book Five White Roses and A Red a book of Poetry dedicated to my mother.

Publications
www.whispersofkaieteur.blogspot.ca

Education/Credentials
http://www.iuniverse.com/Bookstore/BookDetail.aspx?BookId=SKU-000463374

Past/Present Clients
Muslims and Non Muslims. I love Interfaith activities.
Youths and issues of generational gap are my areas too. Families under stress.

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