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QUESTION: AOA. I would like to help my friend who had married her class fellow in University as they like each other without the consent of their parents because the man was already married. The man was married to an uneducated women who washer cousin and she is orphan and its custom of their family to marry orphan women within the family. It was an obligation for the man to fulfill the family desire but at the same time he loved my friend because she was educated and gold medalist in the university and is from a good religious family. My friend was afraid that her parents won't allow to marry him so they did nikha secretly according to sharia way. when both families came to know about it they got angry and refuse to accept this relation then her husband convince his family to accept the relation and he would keep both of them equally. My friend parents initially refused and force for divorce but then they came to an agreement and told her husband to provide separate house gold and huge hak mahr. her husband accepted these conditions and to fulfill them he traveled to another country to get job. he was successful but he was given one year to do all this. when he couldn't complete in one year her parents force him to divorce their daughter and after intense tension he got fed up and divorce under pressure as my friends parents threaten him of court and police. My friend supported her family financially as her father was retired and although she was a brilliant student couldn't continue her further education due to financial problems. but for her family she did double time jobs and provide all what she could. her husband wanted her to come to Dubai where he was working and help her family better and could do for her future as well but her parents didn't allow as they wanted the conditions to be met first. After divorce she was very depress and she left the country and came to Dubai and worked hard here and still helped the family financially,. She send her parents on hajj and did other good things for the family. but she felt a lot depress for herself and that why her parents force her to get divorce due to that she got depression, irregular menstrual cycle and overweight. Doctors have advised her not to get depression or else it can be very bad for her health.After 5 years she is now married to her cousin.,he is 5 years younger to her not settled in any job yet but his family is financially very strong and all of them treats her very well. but for her its not money gold or house which is important it is her love which she is missing a lot. she wants to  take khula from her second husband as she cannot fulfill his rights fairly. I  would like to know is force divorce valid in Islam? Cannot a man marry 4? her parents forcing her and her husband were right? Even the husband first wife also created problems and wanted her to get divorce. was she right to do that? now her khula step  is right? is it the valid reason  to take khula ? she was forced to get divorce so therefore she cannot mentally and emotionally adjust herself with second husband. Please reply about these questions in detail with reference to quran and hadith so that i can help her and make her feel better live the life she has right on. and so that she akhrat would be saved as well.

Best regards
Faiza

ANSWER: ASSALAAMU ALAIKUM WB
Based on your question - she has the choice to do KHULA if she is unhappy and it is affecting her etc.....however, I would like to ask a few questions before I am able to answer your question in details Inshaa Allaah Aameen:
*was she forced to marry her cousin?
*is she getting a divorce from her cousin, so she could remarry her previous husband?

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---------- FOLLOW-UP ----------

QUESTION: Thanks for quick reply. She was not force to marry her cousin but after her first divorce she lived 5 years depressed and alone in Dubai. And she had always asked the scholars if her divorce is valid or not. She got mix answers.Some scholars said yes it is valid because no matter what happens pronunciation of divorce 3 times in one sitting become valid and is 3 divorce. While other said this is unquranic and pressuring children this way is illegal.It is domestic violence and her nikha is still valid. but she didn't want to simply do what she wish thats why she didn't go back in the nikha of her husband. now that she didn't have choice when her brother got married with her cousin the same family proposed her for their son. She accepted the proposal with the view that she will try to adjust here. But involuntarily she is getting depression day by day gaining weight, other health issues. and when i asked her she said she cannot forget her first husband and the fact that they were forcibly divorced. And that she doesn't feel any interest in her second husband nor she can fulfill his rights fairly. she is 28 years old now but seems like 38. She doesn't have interest in any thing like makeup, clothes jewllery. She has very successful career as a College teacher in Dubai still live very simple. She wants to get marry her first husband again. Her heart is broken very badly the second husband gold house money these things couldn't work and make her live happily. she is thankful to God for giving her so  successful career and respect in the society. And made her able to do what she wants to do for her family. Even everyone back in the country thinks she is like a son to the family. Please give a suggestion according to Islamic point of view that can she take khula and remarry her first husband? For khula is this reason valid that she was force divorce from first husband so that's unfair? her first husband is a sincere man and he helped her coming to Dubai. He took care of her in those 5 years. They didn't live together.So she feels more guilty that they both could have lived a happy life here in Dubai. Her first husband is telling her not to think like this and start a new life and don't hurt her in-laws. He has always been advising her positively. She feels she doesn't have interest in second husband his wealth or desire to have children. The doctors believe it is not in her control to think positive or negative, she is in deep depression where she has got hormonal imbalance. and that makes her feel sick tired and bore of everything. She has to be given right of how she wants to live her life and when she feels happy her  hormonal imbalance will also go correct and she can control her weight gain and other related problems. Hope you understand the situation.

Answer
ASSALAAMU ALAIKUM WB

Based on your question I think she should have patience and pray to Allaah for guidance and  she should prayer tahajjud and ask Allaah for a solution to the problem plus she should pray Istikhaara for some signs in a dream etc Inshaa Allaah.

IF SHE IS STILL DEPRESSED AND IT IS AFFECTING HER HEALTH ETC.........THEN SHE COULD TAKE THE KHULA AND CONTINUE ON WITH LIFE - BECAUSE MARRIAGE WAS DESIGNED BY ALLAAH FOR PEACE AND HAPPINESS NOT TO SUFFER AND BE UNHAPPY INSHAA ALLAAH AAMEEN

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BRIEF BIO Shaikh Shafayat was born, in Trinidad, West Indies, where he attended College etc.. Due to his multi-faith and cultural upbringing, he was awarded a scholarship to become a Christian Minister. In 1975 he went to India to study Islam and became the first student from the Caribbean and North America to have enrolled in Darul Uloom Deoband, which is the largest and oldest Islamic Institute in India. In addition to graduating as a Qaari and Islamic Scholar, he also did a course in Journalism and established the Al Hikmat Muslim Magazine, plus he produced many television and radio programs in Trinidad and Florida USA. In 1983 he founded the National Muslim Sports League of Trinidad and Tobago, which established the Islamic Home for Children. He is the Founder/Principal of Darul Uloom Institute in Pembroke Pines Florida and the first Muslim to become President of the Interfaith Council of South Florida in the year 2002. He organized and conducted many Christian / Muslim / Jewish Dialogues in Churches, Synagogues and Islamic Centers in the U.S.A.. Shaikh Shafayat was the first Muslim to represent Islam at a Florida State Faith Summit, held at the Capitol Building with Gov. Jeb Bush in the year 2000. He is a recipient of the Silver Medallion Award from NCCJ (a national interfaith organization) and a recipient of the Peacemaker Award from St. Thomas University in Miami. For many years he lectured on Islam and terrorism to Pembroke Pines Police of South Florida and other Law Enforcement Officers. He lectures throughout the U.S.A. and worldwide on Islam, Interfaith Issues and Cultural Diversity.

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