Assalamu Alaikum Hazart,
Alhamdullillah, I a a reverted muslim since 19 years. From the day one I am not happy with my husband, and he also not happy with me. Two days back, we had a quarrel, and he started criticizing me about my past sins. I was not able to tolerate, and I told him that I am not willing to live with him. With lot of emotional I promised in the name of Allah that I will not live together will him. But now I am worried about my promise made in the name of Allah. What is the remedy? (I have two girl children. My husband is a lazy, and for the past few years, he is not going to job regularly. I have to earn and feed the children and my husband. I told him to leave me and my children and get out of the family. But he is not at all going ,and simply sitting at home, sleeping, eating and going the the mosque. I don't know what I am going to do with this children. I believe Allah nothing else) Really I am afraid of the promise I made in the name of Allah. Please guide me.
Bismillahir-Rahmanir-Rahim (In the Name of Allah, Most Gracious, Most Merciful)
I AM SORRY TO LEARN ABOUT YOUR SITUATION - You need to involve your elders in order to decide your future with your husband.
[Quran 4:35] If you fear a breach between them twain (the man and his wife), appoint (two) arbitrators, one from his family and the other from her's; if they both wish for peace, Allah will cause their reconciliation. Indeed Allah is Ever AllKnower, WellAcquainted with all things.
[Quran 4:128] If a wife fears cruelty or desertion on her husband's part, there is no blame on them if they arrange an amicable settlement between themselves; and such settlement is best; even though men's souls are swayed by greed. But if you do good and pr actise self-restraint, Allah (God) is well-acquainted with all that you do.
[Quran 4:129] you are never able to be fair and just as between women, even if it is your ardent desire: But turn not away (from a woman) altogether, so as to leave her (as it were) hanging (in the air). If you come to a friendly understanding, and practise self- restraint, Allah (God) is Oft-forgiving, Most Merciful.
[Quran 4:130] But if they disagree (and must part), Allah (God) will provide abundance for all from His all-reaching bounty: for Allah (God) is He that careth for all and is Wise.
Muwatta Book 022, Hadith Number 011.
Section : Oaths for Which Kaffara is Obligatory.
Yahya related to me from Malik from Suhayl ibn Abi Salih from his father from Abu Hurayra that the Messenger of Allah, may Allah bless him and grant him peace, said, "Whoever makes an oath and then sees that something else would be better than it, should do kaffara for his oath and do what is better."
Yahya said that he heard Malik say, "Anyone who says that he has a vow but does not mention the name of Allah, is still obliged to make the kaffara for an oath (if he breaks it)".
Malik said, "Emphasis is when a man swears one thing several times, repeating the oath in his speech time after time. For instance, the statement, 'By Allah, I will not decrease it from such-and-such,' sworn three times or more. The kaffara of that is like the kaffara of one oath. If a man swears, 'I will not eat this food or wear these clothes or enter this house,' that is all in one oath, and he is only obliged to do one kaffara. It is the same for a man who says to his wife, 'You are divorced if I clothe you in this garment or let you go to the mosque,' and it is one entire statement in the normal pattern of speech. If he breaks any of that oath, divorce is necessary, and there is no breaking of oath after that in whatever he does. There is only one oath to be broken in that."
Malik said, "What we do about a woman who makes a vow without her husband's permission is that she is allowed to do so and she must fulfil it, if it only concerns her own person and will not harm her husband. If, however, it will harm her husband, he may forbid her to fulfil it, but it remains an obligation against her until she has the opportunity to complete it."
[5:89] Allah will not call you to account for what is futile in your oaths, but He will call you to account for your deliberate oaths: for expiation, feed ten indigent persons, on a scale of the average for the food of your families; or clothe them; or give a slave his freedom. If that is beyond your means, fast for three days. That is the expiation for the oaths you have sworn. But keep to your oaths. Thus doth Allah make clear to you His Signs, that you may be grateful.
Its my duty to help those in need. You are free to ask as many questions as you like.
If you are not convinced or feel the answer did not address all your questions, pls write back immediately without any hesitation. Please do forgive me if there is an unexpected delay in replying.
Pls spare some time and see these small video clips.
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( Note: I am not a mufti, if you are in doubt or want 100% accuracy please verify the above hadith with an authentic personality. However I have not altered any hadith and presented it as and how it was found. May Allah forgive our mistakes from time to time...ameen.)