Islam/husband & wife
I am married for 15 years. I have 3 children. My husband is a Doctor by profession, and he's well qualified and has a very very good income. He is very good at Farl & worse at sunnahs. i.e. 5 daily prayers, zakath, ramalan fast, haj and earning halal only. But on the other hand when it comes to sunnath prayers, sadaqa, sunnath fasts he is the worst. At the time of marriage i didn't have any income, he buys all the food & grocery and one clothe each for both festivals. other than this if ever i ask him to buy me anything... there is only 'thunderstorm' in the house. Be it a rug or a broom or even a drink when i go out..... he only yells at me giving some stupid excuses. he is so stingy.. he is a miser... even if my slipper tears i never can ask him to buy me one. i can never use the telephone. i cant even sit in the room and recite the quran with the lights on!. he asks me to come to the living room and recite, but without the fan. every month when the electricity and telephone bills come he barks at me, but it is he who uses more.
I thought to my self, if i had an income for all these then my problems will be solved. I asked allah with 100% faith to do so and now I am blessed with an income. Now other than the food and the children's school fees every other expense is done by me. replacing taps etc, painting the house, buying new furnitures, buying bedsheets etc. are done by me. Masha allah 80% of my problems is solved.
But still once in a while my husband embarraces me in front of a crowd and hurts me. He finds some stupid fault and shouts. I complained this to my in-laws, even they agree with me. But they are all scared of him, even his own father.
I am doing all what is said in Islam to correct him. I wear nicely in front of him, I were perfume in front of him, I cook for him very tasty foods, I recite Sura Baqara to get rid of the Shaithan... but these do give and answer, but yet only for a few weeks or few months.
I really don't know what to do to make him change.... I am always asking dua... worst thing of all is, the words he uses to shout and scald are words which make our hearts tear into pieces.
I can't get embarraced in front of people any more. my children are growing. even the children are affected by this. please let me know how to stop this man from this.
sister in islam
Peace to you!
Thanks for your message. I am so sorry to hear about your problem. Have you asked your husband why he is so rude to you? Usually there is a cause to such bad behavior. Talk to him about his childhood and find out what made him the person he is towards you today. Please talk to him under four eyes and tell him how ashamed and hurt you feel when he puts you down. Ask him what Islam teaches about his behavior and pray that God would bring about change in both of you since usually both partners need maturing.
As clearly mentioned in my description, I am a follower of Jesus according to the Bible and my expertise is ONLY in answering questions Muslims have regarding Jesus, the Injeel, Zabur, Torah, how to get forgiveness, or the perspective of followers of Jesus on questions Muslims ask.
The reason for me being in the Islam section is that Muslims usually learn about Christianity from Muslims. That is bad academic scholarship and leads to great misunderstandings. If you have a question about an illness you go to a medical doctor not to someone who has a PhD in computing. Similarly, if you have a question about Christianity you must go to a follower of Jesus not to a Muslim. I am here to conveniently offer the removal of misunderstandings. Here is a brief summary of two of the most common ones that may have arisen due to an isolated minority cult that has never represented mainline Christian teachings:
“Jesus is the son of God.” The Bible does not teach that Jesus is the physical son of God. That would be blasphemy. The term, ‘Son’ is to be understood in a spiritual sense, like in, ‘a son of the road’ (=a frequent traveller who knows the roads inside out). For more details please visits Christian websites such as: http://www.christianityexplained.net/explainedto/muslims/12.html
“Christians believe in three gods and Mary is one of them.” The Bible does not teach such blasphemy. The correct teaching is that there is only one, unique God. For more details see: http://www.christianityexplained.net/explainedto/muslims/11.html
If you wish to learn more about the main message of the Holy Bible, I do offer an e-mail correspondence course on it. The first lesson explores what the Quran says about the Torah and Injeel and whether they are still reliable. Would you like to do this study?
Please do not hesitate to contact me if I can be of further help in any of the above.