Islam/marriage - selecting girl
QUESTION: Salam sir..
i have heard the hadees you can marry a girl for 4 reasons. (1)fame (2) beauty (3) money (4) islam - deen
what dose this means.. can you explain me this in details..
dose this means i am not supposed to marry any one who is beautiful..or i am supposed to marry ugly girl..
or dose it means that i should select her for her deen (if she prays 5 times.. knows hadees and reads quran) and its ok if she is beautiful
on the side. But she should have deen for sure.
as i have already rejected many women who were beautiful..but dint had much deen..(they used to talk to guys before marriage)
who am i supposed to marry.. what all can she have ?
i want to marry according to quran and hadees .. i want to select wife according to islam..can you gude me by quran and hadees on this
and what dose deen means.. dose it means that she should pray 5 times and read quran and hadees.. thats all ? or dose it include anything
else.. dose deen also include that she should be ready to give me my marriage rights.. which are right to be respected and obey ..
i am also ready to give her all her islamic right..and willing to live in marriage by islam.
and how am i supposed to know if she has deen.. am i allowed to meet her in person and talk to her privately for like 30 mins before
marriage and get to know her ? is this allowed in islam
ANSWER: Bismillahir-Rahmanir-Rahim (In the Name of Allah, Most Gracious, Most Merciful)
Bukhari Volumn 007, Book 062, Hadith Number 027.
Narated By Abu Huraira : The Prophet said, "A woman is married for four things, i.e., her wealth, her family status, her beauty and her religion. So you should marry the religious woman (otherwise) you will be a losers.
The above hadith guides the one who want to marry. Look for deen first. If deen is absent then the girl is unfit for marriage. The general tendency is people overlook the deen part and that creates a big problem in married life.
One is advised to take the help of parents in the selection process. Its not an easy task...it requires much experience and caliber which parents have.
[Quran 30:21] And among His Signs is this, that He created for you mates from among yourselves, that you may dwell in tranquillity with them, and He has put love and mercy between your (hearts): verily in that are Signs for those who reflect.
[Quran 4:19] O you who believe! you are forbidden to inherit women against their will. Nor should you treat them with harshness, that you may Take away part of the dower you have given them,-except where they have been guilty of open lewdness; on the contrary live with them on a footing of kindness and equity. If you take a dislike to them it may be that you dislike a thing, and Allah brings about through it a great deal of good.
[Quran 24:32] Marry those among you who are single, or the virtuous ones among yourselves, male or female: if they are in poverty, Allah (God) will give them means out of His grace: for Allah (God) encompasseth all, and he knoweth all things.
[Quran 2:223] Your wives are a tilth for you, so go to your tilth (have sexual relations with your wives in any manner as long as it is in the vagina and not in the anus), when or how you will, and send (good deeds, or ask Allah to bestow upon you pious offspring) before you for your ownselves. And fear Allah, and know that you are to meet Him (in the Hereafter), and give good tidings to the believers (O Prophet Muhammad).
Its my duty to help those in need. You are free to ask as many questions as you like.
If you are not convinced or feel the answer did not address all your questions, pls write back immediately without any hesitation. Please do forgive me if there is an unexpected delay in replying.
Pls spare some time and see these small video clips.
which is the best religion - how to identify the true scripture
why is islam the best religion - 15point explanation
love affairs & Islam
( Note: I am not a mufti, if you are in doubt or want 100% accuracy please verify the above hadith with an authentic personality. However I have not altered any hadith and presented it as and how it was found. May Allah forgive our mistakes from time to time...ameen.)
---------- FOLLOW-UP ----------
QUESTION: 1st. Can I meet her in person before marriage to get to know her .or else how would I get to know her
2nd. OK if the girl dose not have Deen she is not right i got that.
what if the person has Deen and also other qualities like beauty and money.
What do to then ? Reject her ? Or ? I am asking according to islam..i know i can marry her but according to islam what should I do..According to this hadees what should I do ?
Is it must that she should be ugly or ?
1. Meeting her for a small time will not reveal anything about her. Further the meeting will be restricted as you will be required to meet in the presence of a mahram and she will have to observe hijab as you will be a non-mahram for her. Its suggested that you marry amongst those whome you know - a relative or a family friend would be a much better choice.
2. Deen is compulsory
3. its a plus if she has additional qualities.
Nobody is ugly. Everybody is beautifull. Beauty lies in the eyes of the beholder. Allah has created us in the best of moulds.
[Quran 95:1] By the Fig and the Olive.
[Quran 95:2] And the Mount of Sinai.
[Quran 95:3] And this City of security.
[Quran 95:4] We have indeed created mankind in the best of moulds.
Therefore to make things easy and simple for you choose a girl who has deen plus additional qualities that you may desire in your would be wife !!