Islam/father in law curses at me and gives me and my husband no privacy
Asalamalikum brother. I do not know if you will see this message or not but I need help coping with things that have been going on in my marriage life. Ive been married for 3 months. My husband is amazing alhumdolilah he always supports me with everything but he is obly 25 and the only son of his 2 parents. My father in law was amazing before the marriage he brought me in the house with love and told my parents ill take care of her and not tp worry about her. Now I do not know what I have done but I have been a good daughter kn law I havw been cooking and what not. But they just want so much more and I believe no one has the right to control ny life and tell me what to dp but my husband. So due to this my husband had a argument with him because I was cooking and ny father kn law kept telling me to do this and that and I was but I got confused and anxious and I had to run to the bathroom to throw up. Sp when my husband saw me in this state he immediately got worried And went to speak to his father. The next thing I knpw his father is cursing at him
And he Includes me in it I cannot tell you how disgusting the things he said were but after that day I have never felt safe with him As a muslim and a wife my house is suppose to be my kingdom vut it is not. I havw tried and tried for ny in laws I have no privacy in my own house. My husband s sister lives next door and they have access to the house and the key and everything to enter Which thwy do her husband comes in and out whenever he wants. And I cannot bear it anymore. I do not feel safe in my house If my husband helps me in the kitchen my mothwr in law does not like it She tells hin why do yoy wash dishes And even though my husband supports I feel like since hes so young he does not know what to do I tell him I want to live separate because that is the only way ill feel safe But he doesnt know how to approach that topic and he says he isnt financially capable. My in laws are ruining my life and I do not knoq how to deal with thus I knoq brother that you might be busy but it would help if you advice me and my husband. Allah hafiz
Another thing I would like to add is that my father in law enters my room without telling me and I was on the phone with my husband and was going into my room to sit and talk and I locked the door and all of a sudde I hear someonw is in my bathroom I ran out and saw him come out of my room. Is this how am I suppose to live? No respect. ThEy always say to my husband why are you always helping her and all that. If we plan to go somewhere his fathers akways interferes. Please help me and may Allah reward you for your help ameen.
Bismillahir-Rahmanir-Rahim (In the Name of Allah, Most Gracious, Most Merciful)
I must appreciate that you are trying to accommodate yourself in this new environment by compromising at multiple levels.
I do understand that your privacy is being infiltrated by your Father in law and you sister in law.
The visits by your sister in law will continue and you have to diplomatically solve them over time because a "change" cannot be expected overnight.
They were having full liberty before you stepped into this house..and it will be difficult for them to understand that their liberties are to be cut and they have to seek permission before they enter as you are a non-mahram to your sister in law husband.
However I will not suggest you to think of moving in a new house even when your husband is financially well off. The reason is that you should not disconnect your son with his parents. Further you both are not mature enough in order to handle your future life well.
Also let me inform you that all these problems will vanish once you give them children to play around and their focus on you will be switched on your kids.
So try to conceive as soon as possible and you will notice tremendous change in the household.
Its my duty to help those in need. You are free to ask as many questions as you like.
If you are not convinced or feel the answer did not address all your questions, pls write back immediately without any hesitation. Please do forgive me if there is an unexpected delay in replying.
Pls spare some time and see these small video clips.
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( Note: I am not a mufti, if you are in doubt or want 100% accuracy please verify the above hadith with an authentic personality. However I have not altered any hadith and presented it as and how it was found. May Allah forgive our mistakes from time to time...ameen.)