Brother I am in extreme need of your help. Please pay attention to my words. In 2006 when I was 15 years of age, I got heavily inspired by Islam, causing me to remain in the state of worship day and night. All went excellent for nearly an year until suddenly my father said that it was not normal that a child may do so because this is something done when one grows old. I simply denied him and quoted the hadith of the beloved prophet (PBUH) which states that the best worship is that which is done during young age. He did not reply. A few weeks later as I was in my room reciting the Quran, 3 men came in and grabbed me while a 4th came towards me with an injection. I was thrown to the ground, like an animal, and was forcefully injected with an anti-psychotic medicine. As soon as it was over, I was devastated. I resumed reciting the Quran but it became difficult for me. My brain had been medicated with a very strong drug. I realized that this drug will take away my passion and love for Allah and his religion. I went to my father's office and inquired regarding this action and I was told that I shall be medicated like this for life. brother I remained patient through out all the future injections until I ultimately lost my passion for Allah and his religion. 5 years later, the doctors stopped the medication and I revived myself onto the path of Allah. 1 year later my father started to medicate me again and this time I was kept in a mental hospital for several weeks until finally I was released. I had lost all my integrity, my senses of right and wrong became weak and I was unable to control myself from doing anything which I even knew was wrong. I have become a pain in the neck for everyone I know. I have no friends and I am the most hated person in my family because of my frequent talking, fighting and telling lies. Brother I have lost everything. I cannot take this anymore. I would have accepted pain if my religious passion, my personality and my senses had been with me but now everything is gone. I do not pray, I do not fast in the month of Ramadan, I went to Mecca but I did not worship because now I am a walking dead man. Brother this is not even half the tragedy I have faced. Now I ask you brother. Can I commit suicide with this kind of life. Can I free my self from the mental hospital because I am registered with them till death. Can I commit suicide brother? Brother I am fed up. I cannot take this anymore. Please say yes brother. Can I commit suicide?
My dear borther you are not alone. Just as you have life and Iman and many things to thank Allah for you have a huge family of believers all over the world found on the internet to share your pain and give you comfort.
Please talk to the authorities of your thoughts and what criminal act your father put you through.
Call 911 for help.
Do NOT take your life. The Hereafter has bigger problems.
Please Allah be with you.
Allah will reward you with more than you used to do since a sick person is excused and will ne rewarded as if they were healthy.