Islam/My marriage is going downhill
As salamu alaykum.
Previuosly I used to ask questions about getting married and choosing the right guy and now here I am ! I married a guy about 4 months ago, my parents didnt agree at the beginning but then they agreed.
We are now engaged but I still live with my parents.
So my problem is that my husband is not financially too good, he doesnt have a car and we will be living in a rent house but he has a job, and we are both students.
My mother and aunts keep insulting me about my husband for not being rich and that I should have married someone rich, and he isnt the right guy.
I dont know what to do :( i feel like i have ruined my life to get married at this young age ( we are both 22) I should have waited untill he was getting financially stable like having a car, etc....
What should I do? I love him but the insult of people around me is making me depressed.... I regret getting married.
I appreciate your help.
Bismillahir-Rahmanir-Rahim (In the Name of Allah, Most Gracious, Most Merciful)
There is nothing wrong at what you have done. Being Rich is not a criteria...Allah says on the quran
[Quran 24:32] Marry those among you who are single, or the virtuous ones among yourselves, male or female: if they are in poverty, Allah (God) will give them means out of His grace: for Allah (God) encompasseth all, and he knoweth all things.
I will request you to do istikhara and proceed accordingly.
Bukhari Vol 2, Book 21. prayer At Night (Tahajjud). Hadith 263.
Narrated By Jabir bin 'Abdullah : The Prophet (p.b.u.h) used to teach us the way of doing Istikhara (Istikhara means to ask Allah to guide one to the right sort of action concerning any job or a deed), in all matters as he taught us the Suras of the Qur'an. He said, "If anyone of you thinks of doing any job he should offer a two Rakat prayer other than the compulsory ones and say (after the prayer): 'Allahumma inni astakhiruka bi'ilmika, Wa astaqdiruka bi-qudratika, Wa as'alaka min fadlika al-'azlm Fa-innaka taqdiru Wala aqdiru, Wa ta'lamu Wala a'lamu, Wa anta 'allamu l-ghuyub. Allahumma, in kunta ta'lam anna hadha-l-amra Khairun li fi dini wa ma'ashi wa'aqibati amri (or 'ajili amri wa'ajilihi) Faqdirhu wa yas-sirhu li thumma barik li Fihi, Wa in kunta ta'lamu anna hadha-lamra shar-run li fi dini wa ma'ashi wa'aqibati amri (or fi'ajili amri wa ajilihi) Fasrifhu anni was-rifni anhu. Waqdir li al-khaira haithu kana Thumma ardini bihi.' (O Allah! I ask guidance from Your knowledge, And Power from Your Might and I ask for Your great blessings. You are capable and I am not. You know and I do not and You know the unseen. O Allah! If You know that this job is good for my religion and my subsistence and in my Hereafter... (or said: If it is better for my present and later needs). Then You ordain it for me and make it easy for me to get, And then bless me in it, and if You know that this job is harmful to me In my religion and subsistence and in the Hereafter... (or said: If it is worse for my present and later needs). Then keep it away from me and let me be away from it. And ordain for me whatever is good for me, And make me satisfied with it). The Prophet added that then the person should name (mention) his need.
The dua is available in arabic text in the following website
Its my duty to help those in need. You are free to ask as many questions as you like.
If you are not convinced or feel the answer did not address all your questions, pls write back immediately without any hesitation. Please do forgive me if there is an unexpected delay in replying.
Pls spare some time and see these small video clips.
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( Note: I am not a mufti, if you are in doubt or want 100% accuracy please verify the above hadith with an authentic personality. However I have not altered any hadith and presented it as and how it was found. May Allah forgive our mistakes from time to time...ameen.)