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Islam/Searching for prospective spouse



A sister here and I want to know the best way to seek for a better half. I want to get married soon but at the same time I fear of so many marriage failure in Muslim society.

Any suggestion highly appreciated. Thank you.

Salaam & praise be to Allah.

Frankly, I don't know if you come to the right person for this question. Google is really your friend in this issue. You can easily key in "How to search for spouse in Islam" and you will find huge suggestions & tips.

Allow me to cite some of the well-known Islamic websites on how to search spouse in Islam. It includes, joining social gathering, get involved and more active in mosque activities for youth, asking help from parents etc.

But your question is "the best way to seek .... ". Then my answer is "simple", PRAY sincerely, wholeheartedly, straighten the intention to get married only to please Allah and to follow the Sunnah. I don't really believe in getting involved in wider social circle in order to find spouse - you may disagree with this opinion. Finding spouse is somewhat tricky, one mistake and it will be for lifetime.

Maybe my answer is based on the fact that I'm kind of introvert personality who tend to avoid crowd & wider social life. But yes ... my major reason is because I strongly believe in the power of duwa/ prayer. When we get much involved in social life, we tend to expect much from other human being, and it just creates significant gap between Allah and us.

There is one quote, "the distance between us and Allah highly related with our distance with other human being", and it is inverse relationship.

My experience says that when we have pure intention, strong trust in Him (tawakkal), seek forgiveness more often, then InshaAllah, He will send the best one. Allah has limitless wonderful ways to send us His blessing, in every aspect of our life including spouse. He will arrange in the best possible manner that we sometime don't really expect it.

"Allah [alone] is sufficient for us, and He is the best Disposer of affairs [for us]." [Qur'an 3:173]

Finding spouse is of course different from finding job. We need to really be active to send application when searching for job, of course we need to pray for that. But you ask me the BEST way for finding spouse, my answer is pure total reliance on Allah is the best path & put all trust on His arrangement.

You are free to choose, I mean you may join those suggestions i.e be active in mosque activities, get more involved in social gathering etc as long as in line with the value of Islam.

One more important thing, don't ever dictate Allah in this issue, for example specifically pray for handsome husband, rich, intelligent, established financial situation, etc. It may sound good, but isn't it much better if Allah chooses for us, as He really knows well what kind of person we need in life instead of what we want. He creates us, surely He knows well what is the best for us.

I hope it helps. Thank you. Wallahu A'lam.



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Sudarmiwati Supriyadi


I answer question about tawheed, aqeedah, political issue related with Islam, muslim in Indonesia. I also have knowledge about the Economic system of Islam. However, I have inadequate knowledge in comparative religions.


IMPORTANT : I'm not a scholar of Islamic Law. I respond any question based on the best of my knowledge and interpretation derived from the Qur'an, Hadith, Islamic history.

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