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Islam/Work and Marriage


Salam Alaikum Shaykh Habeeb,

I am a working mom and wife. I have been married for 4 years and my son is a little over a year. I have gone to graduate school while I was married and finished off my internship while I was still pregnant with my son. After I gave birth to my son, I stayed at home with him for 9 months and in those 9 months I was in the process of taking my license exam and getting licensed and Alhamdullah I was able to do that. I expressed to my husband that I wanted to start looking for a job and he was in full support of me. I was initially looking for a part time job but found a full time job at a hospital which is a great learning opportunity for me as a new grad and doesn't come by easily. So with his blessing, I took the job and have been working there for over 4 months already. It has not been easy as we have both had to make sacrifices to make our routine work. Since he has the car, He drops our son off to the baby sitter in the morning. His shift ends pretty late at night so he sleeps late and has to wake up early to drop off our son. I thought that things have been working out okay until Just recently he has been sending me text messages giving me ultimatums and telling me to quit by a certain time frame. He recently told me that I wasn't respecting him because I didn't quit my job and has even been mentioning divorce. I am really upset at his approach to handling this situation. I am upset that he doesn't see this as a two-person decision and that I HAVE  to be apart of. The other thing is, the only reason he doesn't want me to work anymore is because he can't wake up early enough to drop our son off and complains of not getting enough sleep. I came up with reasonable solutions to this but he still seems to think the only solution is for me to quit. I guess my question is, how do I approach this situation regarding my work and regarding the manner in which he is approaching me about it. Is he religiously allowed to force me to quit my job?

This  is  about him not getting  his attention  and love  and hence finding  it maybe  elsewhere  and thereby feeling guilty  and angry.
This  is  not his right nor religious  right to stop you from education  and  working.
Its about compromise and mutual  understanding.
You have to find a mediator  to sit you both down and talk  about  undelying issues.

I am proud of your achievement!

Now work on your love and family.


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Imam Habeeb


Being an Educator of Islamic Studies and Interfaith discussions for the past 25 years and having authored seventeen books and numerous articles on Islam - I think I can answer questions on Islam and other religions and issues of the Hanafi jurisprudence as well as general questions on Quran and Sharia. Love, sex and marital problems are some such topics! This is an independent volunteering service and not under any organizational banner that I may be affiliated with. My book- Intimacy and the Sacred talks about Sex and Muslims.


I have helped thousands of people who are troubled both in life experiences and lack of proper Islamic knowledge.

Latest book Five White Roses and A Red a book of Poetry dedicated to my mother.



Past/Present Clients
Muslims and Non Muslims. I love Interfaith activities.
Youths and issues of generational gap are my areas too. Families under stress.

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