QUESTION: I am a 45 old year woman, married and got two girl children. Alhamdullillah. I a reverted muslim since 22 years. Because of my marriage and my reversion to Islam, I lost terms with many of my relatives. From day one, my husband would not show any interest in taking care of me or my children. Even if I am sick, I have to go to hospital myself. For my children also 99% I have to take them to the doctors.He always shown less interest in earnings. So for taking care of the children I started hard working and earned for my family. So I became independent and I am spending my earnings(not very good salary) towards the brought up and education of my children. My husband is against girl's education, because, he is into Tabligh Jamaat. My husband never worried about the rent, educational expenses etc. He used to work only for 3 to 4 hours (Auto rickshaw driver) per day and used to give a meagre amount to the family. He used to spend his remaining time in Tabligh jamaat activities, sleeping( night and afternoon)etc. He used to go for Jamaat for 3 days in a month. I have to manage all the family matters. He is telling we have to workout only for the hereafter. And also referring the Ayat 64:14. So as per his knowledge, wife and children are his enemies. He is further telling that Allah says in this Ayat that there are enemies in your wife and children, bur Allah never said there are enemies in your husband. There is a lot of things in my life. I was lacking for a husband's love(not physical) but it was not happening.If I am asking him to take us to the hospital or shop, he will say it is time for my prayer, even if he has got more time to pray. Once I had an illicit affair with a man, it created a big problem, at last I realised my mistake, made Tawba. After that I told my husband to leave me and go, but he refused. After that we had our second child. It's going. I am managing the entire family including financial matters. After reading the Aya 4:34 Now I am worried. Will it be a sin on me? Because my husband always telling me that you will be questioned about your activities and the finance matters in the family. Kindly give me a solution. My husband is not caring about the family, their education, etc. for that reason only I am forced to take care of my children and their education. What to do now? Shall I handover all my money and responsibilities to my husband? Will I be punished by Allah for my activities(finance care for the family)?
ANSWER: Bismillahir-Rahmanir-Rahim (In the Name of Allah, Most Gracious, Most Merciful)
I am sorry to learn about your husbands un-islamic activities.
Please inform him that any mi-use of the Quran ayats will hold him liable for punishment.
[Quran 64:14] O you who believe! Truly, among your wives and your children are (some that are) enemies to yourselves: so beware of them! But if you forgive and overlook, and cover up (their faults), verily Allah/God is Oft-Forgiving, Most Merciful.
This ayat alerts a person against the enemy that might be hidden in the form of wife and children ( as one those days reverted to islam and the wife or kids didnt - so Allah warned them against trusting such wife and childred )
However i suggest you to please pray to Allah as nothing can be expected from this hopeless person.
what to do after zina/adultery/
[Quran 3:133] And march forth in the way (which leads to) forgiveness from your Lord, and for Paradise as wide as are the heavens and the earth, prepared for Al-Muttaqun (Pious or God fearing)
[Quran 3:134] Those who spend in prosperity and in adversity, who repress anger,and who pardon men; verily, Allah loves Al-Muhsinun (the gooddoers).
[Quran 3:135] And those who, when they have committed Fahishah (illegal sexual intercourse or major sins) or wronged themselves with evil, remember Allah and ask forgiveness for their sins; - and none can forgive sins but Allah and do not persist in what (wrong) they have done, while they know.
[Quran 3:136] For such, the reward is Forgiveness from their Lord, and Gardens with rivers flowing underneath (Paradise), wherein they shall abide forever. How excellent is this reward for the doers (who do righteous deeds according to Allah's Orders).
Its my duty to help those in need. You are free to ask as many questions as you like.
If you are not convinced or feel the answer did not address all your questions, pls write back immediately without any hesitation. Please do forgive me if there is an unexpected delay in replying.
Pls spare some time and see these small video clips.
which is the best religion - how to identify the true scripture
why is islam the best religion - 15point explanation
love affairs & Islam
( Note: I am not a mufti, if you are in doubt or want 100% accuracy please verify the above hadith with an authentic personality. However I have not altered any hadith and presented it as and how it was found. May Allah forgive our mistakes from time to time...ameen.)
---------- FOLLOW-UP ----------
QUESTION: Bismillahir-Rahmanir-Rahim (In the Name of Allah, Most Gracious, Most Merciful)
I am much convinced with your answer, and thanks for the quick reply. I need answer for my second question. After reading the Ayat 4:34 Now I am worried. Will it be a sin on me? Because my husband always telling me that you will be questioned by Allah about your activities and the finance matters in the family. And without any family responsibility, he is spending much time in Masjid and Ibadah. But I am doing only the Fard prayers and the 12 Rakkas Sunnate mu akkadah prayers. I am feeling guilty about my activities. because most of my time is being spent on earnings, looking after the children and house hold works I made Tawbah. Sometime my husband is telling me that I should be much obedient to him, to service him etc, because he is the main reason for my Eemaan(reversion). Sometimes he told me that I must stitch my skin as a footwear for him to show my gratitude why because he is the reason for my reversion. Many of my duas were accepted by Allah Subhana taala, but not in case of my husband. So he is telling me that he is right in his activities. Kindly give me a solution. My husband is not caring about the family, their education, etc. for that reason only I am forced to take care of my children and their education. What to do now? Shall I handover all my money and responsibilities to my husband? Will I be punished by Allah for my activities(finance care for the family)? Is educating a child is haram? Please answer me. Jazakkallahu Kairen.
its the opposite..your husband will be questioned for ignoring family responsibilities.
As for the prayers - you are supposed to not miss Fardh prayers which is obligatory. Other voluntary (sunnat/Nafl) prayers can be offered according to available time after discharging the parental obligations etc.
Your husband is not the main reason of your iman. Its Allah that willed and you entered islam. And ask your husband to stop his stupid demands - and attend to the responsibiity of providing a decent income to the household and contribute in raising the children. All lazy people like him do and talk nonsense and this is one big reason our ummah is suffering.
You shoul NOT handover the money to your husband. He has NO RIGHT on your income. Never let him handle your money. Force him to earn for your kids and yourself. Demand your rights. Make him work. What a shame....now He wants his childred to follow his footsteps. How can one stay well in this era of education. The first ayat of the Quran was IQRA - Means READ. Reading and acquiring knowledge is mandatory in Islam.