Assalamu alaikkum Hazrat,
Happy to see a MUfti online from India. I am from India, I am a 45 years old woman, married and got two girl children. Alhamdullillah. I am a reverted muslim since 22 years. Because of my marriage and my reversion to Islam, I lost terms with many of my relatives. From day one, my husband would not show any interest in taking care of me or my children. Even if I am sick, I have to go to hospital myself. For my children also 99% I have to take them to the doctors.He always shown less interest in earnings. So for taking care of the children I started hard working and earned for my family. So I became independent and I am spending my earnings(not very good salary) towards the brought up and education of my children. My husband is against girl's education, because, he is into Tabligh Jamaat. My husband never worried about the rent, educational expenses etc. He used to work only for 3 to 4 hours (Auto rickshaw driver) per day and used to give a meagre amount to the family. If I ask more money he would say that my Eeman is very weak. He used to spend his remaining time in Tabligh jamaat activities, sleeping( night and afternoon)etc. He used to go for Jamaat for 3 days in a month. I have to manage all the family matters. He is telling we have to workout only for the hereafter. And also referring the Ayat 64:14. So as per his knowledge, wife and children are his enemies. He is further telling that Allah says in this Ayat that there are enemies in your wife and children, but Allah never said that there are enemies in your husband. There is a lot of things in my life. I was lacking for a husband's love(not physical) but it was not happening. My children are also lacking for a father's love, care and affection. If I am asking him to take us to the hospital or shop, he would say it is time for his prayer, even if he has got more time to pray. Once I had an illicit affair with a man, it created a big problem, at last I realised my mistake, made Tawba. After that I told my husband to leave me and go, but he refused. After that we had our second child. It's going. I am managing the entire family including financial matters. After reading the Aya 4:34, I am worried. Will it be a sin on me? Because my husband always telling me that you will be questioned by Allah about your activities and the finance matters in the family. And without any family responsibility, he is spending much time in Masjid and Ibadah. But I am doing only the Fard prayers and the 12 Rakkas Sunnate mu akkadah prayers. I am feeling guilty about my activities. because most of my time is being spent on earnings, looking after the children and house hold works. And also I have got wheezing , Allergy, cervical , spondylosis, shoulder and knee pain etc. I am not able to spend more time on Ibadath. I made Tawbah. Sometime my husband is telling me that I should be much obedient to him, to service him etc, because he is the main reason for my Eemaan(reversion). Sometimes he told me that I must stitch my skin as a footwear for him to show my gratitude why because he is the reason for my reversion. Many of my duas were accepted by Allah Subhana taala, but not in case of my husband. So he is telling me that he is right in his activities. Last Thursday I was diagnosed by chiken pox virus, I myself went to the doctor, for which I have tobe under medication for another five days. My husband was planning to go to jamaath. I told him to postponed the plan to next week as I was not feeling well. He refused. End of the argument, he pushed me down and I was hurt on my back and shoulder severely. (already damaged parts). I was screaming and crying not able to got up. My children are also crying. he doesn't bother to help me to got up. Again he was trying to kick me. My total body got numbness. He was just watching the TV. Now I decided to lie separately with my children. As I have to work, I cannot perform Iddah otherwise I would have claimed for Kulah. My parents are very old and surviving with pension. I cannot trouble them and don't want to become a burden for them. My brothers are married and I cannot expect them to help me. How to handle this situation. But job is most important for me, as i am looking after my children. Kindly give me a solution. My husband is not caring about the family, their education, etc. for that reason only I am forced to take care of my children and their education. What to do now? Will I be punished by Allah for my activities(finance care for the family)? Is educating a child is haram? Please answer me.Sorry, it is a quiet long draft. Jazakkallahu Kairen.
I am sorry to learn your plight and problem. It is unfortunate that in return of your true love you are being being physically and mentally tortured by your husband who is answerable to Almighty Allah. Since I am extremely busy with my professional work I will reply to you in two or three days time.Are from Pune? If not where do you stay? If you don't mind please let me know.