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Sanctity wrote at 2007-08-09 04:42:29
I don't know where you are or if you will read this answer, but I am a woman and I understand your pain. If you cannot come to peace yourself, please seek counseling through a domestic violence program or similar.

This act is a crime and should not be hidden. In the end, it will be better for you, only upon his death, to forgive him for what he did to you. But, you should not put yourself in the position to harm him.

You did nothing wrong! Believe that. This is not your burden to carry. It is for the person that did the wrong against you. His time will come.

Heal yourself from the inside and remember the joys of life still to come. Salam

ali wrote at 2008-06-11 07:25:18
this is not incest this is rape take him to a muslim goverment and try him being your family is of eastern decent ali ann arbor mich

Sami wrote at 2009-03-17 20:32:52
Dear Sister,

May Allah give you peace internally. I would quote a Hadith for you which might ease your pain.

“One day (at the time of the Prophet) a woman left her house to go and pray at the Mosque. On her way she was met by a man who forced her to have sexual intercourse. The woman screamed while the man raped her. After he raped her the man ran away. A group of men (who accompanied the Prophet on his flight form Mecca to Medina) passed by the girl and she said to them (pointing in the direction of the man running) “that man just raped me”. They then ran after him and caught him and when face to face with the woman she said “yes that was the person”. They went to the Prophet and the man said “Yes Prophet it was me who did this”. The Prophet said to the girl “go now, God has already pardoned you”. The Prophet then said to the man (while appreciating his confession) “stone him”. He then said “Actually, he has already learnt his lesson and if someone learns their lesson all the people of Median will understand”.

This was a woman who got raped. And prophet said you free to go and Allah has already forgiven you so stop thinking that you impure or something you are just as pure as any other pure woman in this world. Just recite Durood and offer prayers trust me you will be at peace. Secondly i am sure your brother must be regretting it big time but because of the relationship he have with you is the sort that he cannot even come and ask for forgiveness which is his biggest punishment. He must be going through a lot i am sure. Specially if he went to Hajj and all it shows that he now regrets but that does not justify anything. Try to forgive him for Allah's sake and let the matter be with him and Allah. Trust me you will feel much more relaxing and light. Allah has kept a lot of power in forgiveness. Its is all very physiological as well. Once you forgive someone you tends to forget the hurt/reason why you forgave that person. Which leads you to peace at heart.

May Allah give you Jannah for going through all the suffering and pain. Dont blame your self you have nothing to do with the sin which others did.

Allah Hafiz.


suppergennius wrote at 2009-09-13 03:59:52
wo!,i fell sorry 4 wht ur undergoing,i know it hard to erase those memory in ya head,but try getting more free time to release ya brain,also you can share what ur undergoing with the person  whom you trust and he wanna help you,.me to have experiencd the same from my cousin when i was 12yrs old,it has taken more than 4yrs since now am 23yrs to forget abt it.even though now my cousin is married i stl hv no respect for her.

sayeed islam wrote at 2009-10-24 01:14:05
that is so brothers are a monster and allah should never forgive him for his awful sin and your thing to do dear is just forget everything..let allah make his decision about him...its no good remembering yourself to those moments..jus forget everything like it never happened and find your truelove and insallah everything will be fine my dear. do u have facebook?..plz add me as sayeed islam..dont worry u can trust me always.

vid wrote at 2010-05-15 20:18:48
only one thing is perturbing..everyone is looking for forgiveness, and learn to relax..why no body is asking the girl to go to court and police..i think her brother has committed sin and crime and he should be punished..

Sister wrote at 2012-11-05 02:05:56
With all due respect to your selves, but what kind of response is that to someone who is reaching out to you for help? Yes of course we make dua and leave all matters to Allah, but we must also tie the camel. It's a shame because all other religions, openly condemn sexual abuse, incest, and islam being the best and only way of life, due to it's "people of knowledge" is not able to provide any answers or solutions to this taboo reality.

This question was posted many years ago, but if the victim is reading this, you are not to blame, it was not your fault, and should feel no guilt or shame. The shame and guilt is all on the person who comitted these crimes against you and the people who turned a blind eye- which in it self is sinful, as when we see evil we should stop it as muslims. Your brother cannot be forgiven by Allah unless he asks you for forgiveness, as he wronged you. If he was sincerein his repentance and hajj he would have done this, and then it would be your choice to forgive him. If you choice not to forgive him, noone could ever blame you, the pain you have had to endure is unmeasurable to us humans, but Allah has measured it and He knows. Trust Him, you will be compensated for all your pain and hurt on a day that every misdeed will be revealed. So keep strong and put your trust in Allah and seek advice from a known  scholar.  


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BRIEF BIO Shaikh Shafayat was born, in Trinidad, West Indies, where he attended College etc.. Due to his multi-faith and cultural upbringing, he was awarded a scholarship to become a Christian Minister. In 1975 he went to India to study Islam and became the first student from the Caribbean and North America to have enrolled in Darul Uloom Deoband, which is the largest and oldest Islamic Institute in India. In addition to graduating as a Qaari and Islamic Scholar, he also did a course in Journalism and established the Al Hikmat Muslim Magazine, plus he produced many television and radio programs in Trinidad and Florida USA. In 1983 he founded the National Muslim Sports League of Trinidad and Tobago, which established the Islamic Home for Children. He is the Founder/Principal of Darul Uloom Institute in Pembroke Pines Florida and the first Muslim to become President of the Interfaith Council of South Florida in the year 2002. He organized and conducted many Christian / Muslim / Jewish Dialogues in Churches, Synagogues and Islamic Centers in the U.S.A.. Shaikh Shafayat was the first Muslim to represent Islam at a Florida State Faith Summit, held at the Capitol Building with Gov. Jeb Bush in the year 2000. He is a recipient of the Silver Medallion Award from NCCJ (a national interfaith organization) and a recipient of the Peacemaker Award from St. Thomas University in Miami. For many years he lectured on Islam and terrorism to Pembroke Pines Police of South Florida and other Law Enforcement Officers. He lectures throughout the U.S.A. and worldwide on Islam, Interfaith Issues and Cultural Diversity.

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