About Le Anne Clausen Expertise I can answer questions about life as an expatriate in the Middle East; women's experiences, international human rights efforts and issues, interfaith relations in areas of conflict, with a particular emphasis on Iraq, Israel/Palestine, and Afghanistan.
Experience I was a human rights worker for four years in Palestine/Israel, Iraq, and Afghanistan. I have additionally traveled in Jordan, Lebanon, and Syria. I speak intermediate Arabic and some Hebrew, and I have an MA in Christian-Muslim relations. I am currently working to create an interfaith peace-teams based human rights organization
Publications "Be the Healers" (a response to Abu Ghraib), July 2004 issue of the Lutheran magazine. Also: www.christian-muslim.net; www.young-activist.blogspot.com; additional articles and interviews about me can be found via Google search.
Question I have a general question reguarding muslim religion. If you could answer it that would be great. Why is it forbidden for guys and girls to date? How do people meet each other then? The reason is I was seeing a guy from saudi arabia and asked him if he had a girlfriend back home and he said he did but felt bad cause he left and all. So is dating not allowed? I'm confused on what their idea of dating is. Do they even talk to each other cause he told me he liked me and all and now doesn't talk to me. Thank you!
Answer Greetings Kitty, and thanks for your question. Muslim dating generally works a little different than secular or 'Western' dating--and this style of dating isn't actually just confined to Muslims, but a variety of cultures and ethnic/religious groups.
Basically, families like to know who their children are dating/ considering for marriage, and that this person comes from a good and responsible background and will treat their child well. So, the parents of each child will usually arrange with other whether their children will 'date', and will usually provide some supervision. This is actually not unlike how many folks in the U.S. used to date, up until the sexual revolution of the 1960's and onward.
So, if a guy would like to date a girl he's seen in school or the neighborhood, he would tell his parents (or other appropriate family members), who would then make the first approach to that girl's parents. If the girl's parents thought this was a healthy match, and presumably if the girl is willing, they would consent to the relationship.
There are benefits to this system: teenage pregnancy is rarely a problem, and a couple getting married generally has enough financial resources and family support to make it a success. Children are also often able to get married without quite as much of the downfalls of 'Western' dating, because it's in the parent's interest to get a good partner for their kids. There are some drawbacks, such as if a family has abuse issues and would do violence to their children if they dated an unacceptable person anyway. Sometimes this is referred to as 'honor crimes/ honor killing', and while no more prevalent than domestic/child abuse in U.S. culture, is still a serious social problem.
In your particular case, I'm not sure what this guy is up to. My guess is that either this woman back home is more than a casual girlfriend, (ie, perhaps engaged) or that he's in trouble with his family for leaving. If he's not talking to you, it could be that he needs to attend to matters at home and realizes he can't be with you. That is my best guess. I would say, be civil and friendly, but this may not develop into a relationship, at least not at this time.
