Expert: Philip Lafeber - 10/7/2009

Question
I am living in Okinawa and feel a little confused with the gift giving cycle! A neighbor helped repair my car and did not charge me so I made tempura shrimp and gave as a gift, then a few days later recieved my plate back plus a bag of muffins! Also a very nice shop keeper always gives me free fruit and sometimes tempura, she even leaves it at my door! I try to give back by making a special plate or American foods or desserts but it seems to "fuel" the gifting even more! I love the attention but I feel confused on what I am doing wrong because I want to show gratitude for their kindness but I don't want to make them feel obligated to reciprocate...again. Thanks for your input.

Answer
Hello Kristina,
It is a nice question you are asking. I didn't know much about Okinawa (well, I still don't) but I just found out from my Japanese wife an interesting cultural aspect. It is particular for Okinawan people to want to be kind and polite, especially to outsiders or new people. It is also particular for people from the country side of Japan to be kind to new people and to not hold back when giving or sharing what they have.

Regards,
Philip.