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Japanese Language/Japanese mariage proposal


My girlfriend (who is American) and I attend a gathering of people who like anime called Anime Banzai in Layton, Utah. She introduced me to it two years ago where we began dating. I'm about to propose to her and all her friends will be there.  I want to propose to her in Japanese, but in my research, I've found there isn't a direct approach to the actual words "Will you marry me?"

What I've found are old phrases like, "Will you cook my dinners for the rest of my life?" and, "We should rest in the same grave."

The first seems too chauvinistic to me, and the latter a bit macabre, but she LOVES an anime called "Death Note" and we will be cosplaying L and Light from that cartoon when I ask her.  So, I've found Google translate and it doesn't seem to be giving me the best translations for, "We should rest in the same grave." or any other variation of that.

The best I've been able to come up with is, "Anata wa watashi to onaji haka de neru nodarou ka?" or, "Anata wa watashi to onaji haka ni nemeru nodeshou ka?" which both translate out as, "Will you sleep in the same grave with me?" But I'm not sure which is better or if they are even accurate.

When I speak both into the translation app on my phone, it says I'm speaking Japanese and it comes back with the English words I'm wanting: "Will you sleep in the same grave with me?" So, I think I'm pronouncing it correctly.

If you can help me please, I'd appreciate it. I have two weeks to get it right.  How do you properly say, "Will you sleep in the same grave with me?" in Japanese?

I will advise against using a reference to "Death Note" in your wedding proposal.

That said, to answer your specific question about the Japanese way to say sleeping in the same grave together, yes, "Anata wa watashi to, onaji haka de neru no darou ka?" is what you're after.

I repeat, I advise AGAINST using this as a proposal phrase! A more traditional, "Kekkon shite kuremasu ka?" (Will you marry me?) while plain, won't come back to haunt you in conversations between your ex-wife and her parents. *wink wink*

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Michael DePaula


Anything pertaining to daily conversation, music, historical/modern forms of Japanese-character writing, computer/IT-related vocabulary, and aquatic sciences.


14 years of Japanese study with about 10 of those years in Japan.

Global Underwater Explorers, Okinawa Underwater Explorers, Okinawa Freethought Society

Degree in Music Performance, University of Southern California. 10+ years working the IT/computer programming world. 8 years of amateur translation assistance. 8 years in marine conservation/technical dive exploration in Japan.

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