Expert: Ben Erdman - 11/7/2009

Question
I really seriously like this Jehovah's Witness. He turns eighteen soon and I wish to court him. I am not a Jehovah's Witness and never wish to be. However, I could fall in love with this man in the possible near future. I don't want to get married any time soon, and Jehovah's Witnesses, apparently, don't date. Is there any law or rule against the partnering of two individuals, for a non-sexual manner, but with a relationship in mind none-the-less? If the relationship is evaluated and agreed upon by both the party's parental units, and the two are chaperoned, is it acceptable for us to court?

Answer
Hello Anne and thank you for the question. Unfortunately there is not much good news for you in this situation. I am happy that you do not intend to be a Jehovah's Witness but do hope that you find Christ and become a Christian if you haven't already done so. I can tell you right off the bat that this boy will for sure not have any support and will be pressured intensely if he were to date you. The Watchtower Society has instructed all JW's that anybody that is not a Jw is worldly. They would see him dating you as 'bad association which spoils useful habits'. I can tell you right from the get go that you will have a very difficult and strenuous relationship if you decide to pursue. To answer your question in a more direct way, if his parents are devout Jw's then they will not let you and him date, even if it is chaperoned. The only way that they would allow it is if you were serious about becoming a Jw. Then it might be considered. And don't think that by him turning 18 things will change. If he is a devout Jw, then the organization has a leash on him and will brainwash him for the rest of his life. The longer he is a Jw, the harder it will be for him to come out.

That being said, he is very young still and is probably not as serious about his Jw up-bringing because of this. If you were truly interested in this boy and want to have a successful relationship with him, then it is absolutely pivotal that you ground yourself in Gods Word and learn about Watchtower doctrines and teachings. Even if he is not that strong in his Jw beliefs, his family will be very hard on him for getting involved with you and this will most likely cause severe problems for yours and his relationship. He needs more than just the hope of being in love with you and spending the rest of his life with you. He would also need to know that God loves him and can save him outside of the Jw's. If you really want to have a successful relationship with this boy, the best relationship you can have is one that is Christ centered. It doesn't matter if it is a relationship such as marriage or just friends. I promise you that a Christ centered relationship is absolutely key.

Now I would like to provide for you a link to a web site that can answer just about all of your questions about the Jw's and what you can do to help them. Please visit 4jehovah.org

That is a great site that has tons of info. Please let me know if you have any further questions or need me to clarify anything for you.

Thank you and God bless,
Ben