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Jehovah`s Witness/knowing the truth
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Question
Dear Beth,
I was born and raised a Jehovah's Witness. I left, when I was 18 years old. I was never disfellowedshipped, but I removed myself from everyone and everything having to do anything with the witnesses. I am now 25 years old, and I am so torn between the life I knew and the life I am living.
Since leaving the witnesses and Jehovah, my life has been so painful. I have become a liar, and a user of others. I feel like I have been so lost. In fact, I am not sure why I am writing you. I just wanted someone to hopefully help me. I feel like my life is a constant state of pain. That God has left me. That I have turned from him, so in turn he has turned from me. I left when I needed the most help. My father abused my mother, sister and I. We were beaten, and verbally abused daily. I ran to the brothers and elders for help and guidance; hopefully getting help to leave. Instead, they called us liars, and acted like we never came to them. I couldnt take the pain anymore, and blamed Jehovah. I have blamed him for everything. I dont know if I want to return, but I know I think on it daily. I try so hard to pray to him, To pray period but cant. I try so hard to be like the witness I once was. But I feel like this world as pulled me in, and I am drowning in the sea of sin.
If you actually have read this, I am sorry for the spelling and mistypings. I just am at the end of my rope. And I am unsure of what to do.
Hello Kari. I'm so sorry to hear of your pain. You may consider talking to others who have been through the same thing. There are many Internet forums where people at the full range of stages of their spiritual journey share their experiences--while in, leaving, or after leaving-- such as jehovahs-witness.net. There are some books that may be of help to you in your path to healing, wherever that path leads you, such as those found at www.lulu.com. I wish you the best. (( ))
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Answers by Expert:
Beth Shan Sarim
Expertise
I can answer questions regarding current and former beliefs, practices, teachings, and unspoken rules/social norms among Jehovah's Witnesses, especially questions on: blood transfusion doctrine/practices, clergy child abuse allegations, teachings/practices regarding women, trespassing, flag salutes, psychological issues, Watchtower Society's relationship to the United Nations, church law, persecution by the Nazis, and alleged false prophecies. PLEASE NOTE: I DO NOT ANSWER BIBLICAL QUESTIONS.
Experience
As a 4th generation Jehovah's Witness, currently in good standing, I've spent more than 2000 hours studying the religion's history, beliefs, and teachings. I've spent more than 10,000 hours attending JW meetings and assemblies, and more than 5000 hours in the ministry.
I have access to an extensive library of Watchtower publications and photographs. I've read most of the things published by the Watchtower Society over the last 100+ years and am familiar with teachings from the 1800s through the 1980s.
I have been a devout Christian for 35 years, 13 of which I have spent as one of Jehovah's Witnesses. For several years, I was a full-time ordained Jehovah's Witness minister--appointed directly by the Watchtower Society in Brooklyn, NY--and attended a special ministry school designed for ordained full-time ministers.
I am also a credentialed counselor and have treated JWs struggling with religious-emotional-clergy abuse issues. I have written and published two books on the subject of emotional healing for Jehovah's Witnesses.
I have extensive personal experience with refusing blood transfusions and have done extensive research into the current and former teachings of the Watchtower Society on the subject.
Organizations
Associated Jehovah's Witnesses for Reform on Blood
Education/Credentials
Master's Degree
Credentialed as a counselor in my state, nationally, and internationally
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