Jehovah`s Witness/marriage

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Question
what do the witness's say about a witness being married to a Christian which dose not respect their belifes commits adultery abruse them?(2) why edo she fill the need to hang on to such a man is because your belifes are weak and you hold on to the very thing that destroy you? please answer because I am trying to help a friend

Answer
Hello, Carolyn.  Thank you for writing with your question.

To be honest, I am not sure if I am understanding correctly what it is you're asking, because of the way its written.  So, I will answer what I think you are asking, and if I am not correct, please follow up with clarification of where I misunderstood.

But I think you are saying that there is a JW woman, who is married to a man who professes to be a Christian, but that he is abusive and unfaithful to her, and that he does not respect her beliefs as a Witness.  And I think you are asking me why she feels the need to stay with him, under these circumstances?

Is that correct?

Now, I try to give answers based on what the Bible says, and not necessarily what the Witnesses say.  I myself, and not a Witness, but a born again Christian.  However, on this particular issue, I think the Witness position would pretty much be in line with what I am about to say from the Scripture.  And what I am about to say here, is sympathetic to the Witness woman, who is obviously being wronged by the "Christian" man.  

Also, I would normally say that this is another reason why JWs and born again Christians should not marry to begin with, because of the notion of "respecting each other's beliefs".  That is sometimes hard for both sides to do, especially when it comes to raising children.  However, if they ARE married, then God expects both of them to apply Biblical principles, to hold the marriage together and make it a happy one.  

And also, there are a lot bigger issues in this situation that you have described, than him merely "not respecting" her beliefs as a Witness.  He has some of his own sins to worry about, and he has no business showing her DISRESPECT, until he first shows HIMSELF to be respectable.  And it appears he is not doing this.  I mean, seriously....How can he criticize his wife for her beliefs, while he is having sex with other women, and do it with a straight face?  That is a perfect example of a hypocrite....he needs to get the beam out of his OWN eye.  

Well, let me say a few things up front.  First, marriage is a lifetime commitment.  When people marry, they are taking vows to each other, and to God.  By taking these vows, people are making a lifelong commitment to each other, and honoring these vows is top priority.  We live in a society today, that teaches if you are unhappy, or if that person whom you married doesn't make you "feel" a certain way anymore, then you need to do what makes YOU happy and find someone else.  That is why we see adultery, and unscriptural divorces, on an unprecedented scale...Because of the "Its all about ME" , mentality.

However, there are some more things that need to be said here.  First, if he is abusive to her, she does not have to stay under the same roof where she is in danger.  I cannot say that physical abuse is in itself, grounds for divorce, because the Bible does not say that.  But she certainly has the right to remove herself from a potentially harmful situation.

Furthermore, if this man is committing adultery, then he is no "Christian".  Not that a Christian cannot sin and get caught up into something like that, but a TRUE Christian will forsake what is evil, and turn to God and his wife, in repentance.  If this man is not repentant, then he is no Christian, regardless of what claims he makes.  The Scripture is clear, that adultery is wicked, sinful, and an abomination in the sight of God.  When 2 people marry, they are promising to say "NO" to everyone else.  God created sex as a bond between 2 married people, and anything outside of the boundaries He has set, is wicked.  

So, I said that to say this....If this woman has proof of her husband's infidelity, then she has Scriptural grounds to leave that marriage and file for divorce.  That is the one and only reason given in Scripture, that allows a person to obtain a divorce, and remarry.  The fact that God views the marriage vow as so sacred and holy, that He HATES "putting away" (divorce) (Malachi 2:16), but ALLOWS it for the instance of infidelity, should show us just how serious this sin is in the eyes of God.  He views it as so wicked, that He allows the innocent spouse, the right to dissolve the marriage union, which was intended to be forever.

This so-called "Christian" should also be made aware of the following verse....

Hebrews 13:4-  "Marriage is honourable in all, and the bed undefiled: but whoremongers and adulterers God will judge."

If this man does not forsake his sin against his God and his wife, he is going to stand in judgment before God, and will receive his just punishment.  I can't make it any clearer than that.

Now, if this man is repentant and willing to change, then my advice would be for this woman to try and repair the marriage.  They will need outside help to do this.  But if infidelity HAS occurred, she is under no obligation to do so, if she simply cannot do it.  And if he is not willing to forsake his sin, then she needs to get out....for her own safety, and her own peace of mind.  She would be doing nothing unscriptural, by doing so.

I hope this answer helps.  If I can help any further, please do not hesitate to ask.  

Take care,

Derrick  

Jehovah`s Witness

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Derrick Holland

Expertise

I was raised in the religion known as Jehovah`s Witnesses for 13 years. Since becoming a born-again Christian, I have researched extensively this religion, especially their doctrines and their history. I can answer questions about their doctrines from the perspective of Biblical Christianity. To be clear: Jehovahs Witnesses is the religion of my upbringing, though I myself was never baptized into the religion, nor have I ever been considered as a Jehovahs Witness.

Experience

29 years of Biblical research into the fundamental doctrines of the Christian faith, and how they differ from the teachings of the Watchtower.

Organizations
I would advise each questioner to this forum, to carefully READ the profiles of the various volunteers. There are several such as myself, who are not practicing JWs, but will provide you with an accurate and honest answer, regarding JW teaching. If we don't know the answer, we will try to research and get it for you. There are also some excellent practicing JWs here, who also endeavor to give you a factual and honest answer, based on their point of view. I believe by getting both points of view, the questioner can weigh the evidence for themselves, and make an informed decision. Unfortunately, there are also 3 here who claim to be JWs, but do NOT give honest, or well-researched answers. They will tell you only what they want you to believe, and they often hide facts about the history of their religion, as well as print untruths about other people's beliefs. This is done in an attempt to deceive the unsuspecting reader. It can be easily seen who these 3 are, simply by reading the public posts and "answers" which they write. Their posts will normally be filled with personal attacks, and if you question them about some teaching or aspect of the Watchtower that makes them uncomfortable, they will often reject your question, question your motives for asking it, tell you that you have been reading "apostate" sites, or turn the conversation into an attack on another expert. These ones are better avoided, as there is nothing to be gained by way of positive discussion, as they are not interested in intelligent conversation, or honest dialogue. If after reading the forum, you still have any questions as to who they are, just ask me, and I will be happy to tell you. And I can also provide documentation of their willful dishonesty. One thing is for certain...in a forum where people from both sides claim to be "Christians", there should never be any willful lying. Such ones only create a distraction in the forum, and provide nothing of any real value.

Education/Credentials
High School, some college. Studies of God's Word, the Bible, and how it compares to JW theology. I have found my own personal study and experiences to be far more valuable than any formal education or training. The Bible message is clear...Salvation is ONLY through and by the shed blood of Jesus Christ, and no religious organization has a thing to do with it. While attendance at a Bible-preaching, Bible-believing church is a must for spiritual growth and fellowship, no church can grant salvation to its members. Nor is joining a particular group a prerequisite for being saved.

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