Jehovah`s Witness/JW Husband/ Study wife

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Question
My new husband is a former elder with 40 years in the truth.  I have been studying for about a year, attending both Sunday meetings and/or midweek meetings.  I am not growing closer to Jehovah.  In fact the more I learn the more I dislike him.  My husband is enraged.  No one else knows.  The Sisters I study with are always sweet, I cannot pain them with this.  I feel bad about it.

Answer
Hello Toni

Thank you for writing.

There is no need to feel bad.  Every one MUST make their own decision based on what they know and see.  It can be very difficult to discus how one feels about a problem when emotion is involved.  Religion is a personal matter but can become very emotional for some people, and when emotion is involved it may become very difficult to keep matters calm.

There are many households that are divided as to where one has a belief in God and one does not , or, in different religious traditions, (some Christian and some non Christian) that actually work, and, work well.  Respect for each others belief system, and a need for some compromise on both sides is what is important.  Each person in a marriage must do what is best for themselves at the same time keeping in mind how what they do may effect the partner.  That is not always easy (speaking from experience)

If you would like to discuss what it is you find objectionable about Jehovah, please write and tell me what aspects you find hard to deal with and why those aspects distress you. Perhaps there are some details that have been missing in explanations given to you, perhaps details have not been made real clear.  I know for my self, I  find it very difficult to accept new ideas that are strange to me with out having all the finer points covered from a lot of angles.  I must, at times, have things spelled out very clearly and very consistency.

It may be very difficult to tell your husband the others involved, without letting emotion come into play,  but what might help is having a very clear and concise

There have been many times that I have had an idea presented to me that most people around me get and understand straight away, but I will raise all sorts of objections too.  There are some explanations that are understood by JWs in general that I just can not comprehend how or why that conclusion is reached as it just does not make sense to me.  But I look at the overall picture of a matter and and decide just how important the matter is.  Now I appreciate that not liking the God we worship is not a small matter, but perhaps the principle is the same, needing to get a finer more detailed understanding, just in case some details are missing of him.  Sometimes, after lots of explanations, it has taken a different person that uses different phraseology in explaining a matter in a way that I finally grasp

It is not a decision to take lightly. If you finally decide that Jehovah is not to be liked, then you need to be able to have strategy to inform your husband and friends in a way that is going to cause the least emotional turmoil.

If you want to do it on a public forum that is fine if you want to send me private correspondence that is fine. But I would like to help you either understanding Jehovah more fully so that you can make an informed decision, or give some ideas  (i will not give advice just some ideas)on how to tell your husband in a way that may let him understand how and why you feel that way.  

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Brenton Hepburn

Expertise

I AM one of Jehovah’s Witnesses, and I am always learning. I am NOT an expert in the full sense of the word but I can answer questions on the reliability of the NWT - the so called mind control problems-so called prophecies - how being a JW affects the individual and relatives and general practices and history of Jehovah’s Witnesses. >>WARNING<< Please be aware that there are people here who ARE NOT practicing JWs. By all means ask these ones questions. Depending on the question you will get an honest answer, but, generally the answer you get, will mislead you as to what we believe, often because, they do not give ALL the relevant details. These ones will, have an agenda against JWs., and will at times give answers that are not correct in regard to JW teachings and practices. If you are after a answer from one of Jehovah’s Witnesses, please read some of the answers that the various experts have published before choosing someone. If you want to ask one of the NON JWs a question, that is fine, BUT if you want a balancing view after asking one of the NON JWs, ask a JW the same question. PLEASE ALSO NOTE: There(have been)and are, some "experts" here who are NOT always the most courteous and polite, at times are actually quite rude, that applies to both JW's and non JW's and their answers may offend, especially when they get personal and attack the character of the person and not the message. Unfortunately some here that have done that. So it IS IMPORTANT to chose an "expert" that YOU feel will best suit YOU by reading some of their past answers . . . . .

Experience

I have been a publisher since 1964. When I first went on the internet I found a lot of negative information dealing with Jehovah’s Witnesses covering prophecy, mind control and what many said was a very bad translation of the Bible known as the NWT. It shook my faith. After may hours researching these topics I could see why some felt that way, but, I was also able to explain why there were these misleading views. I can now set matters straight for anyone that has negative information about Jehovah’s Witness to show them that such information is at best misleading and at worst dangerous lies.

Education/Credentials
I have been a student of the Bible for many years, am trying to teach myself Biblical Greek. Was a public tax accountant for many years untill SEP 2009 when I gave it up due to health problems.

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