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Hi

I have a question and really need to talk to someone I am not a Jehovah witness but I am married to one. We argue a lot when before we didn't argue that much like we do now and im always depress we got three kids and are poor babies have to see us argue all the time I don't know what to do because sometimes I just want to leave him but I love him so much at first he got out of the truth then back in then got back out then now he's back in again it will be almost a year he's been back in. he had got reproved I think that's how you would say it for something bad he did which would be also some of are problem and he always says well sorry you cant leave me you made your decision to stay one time we were arguing and he had told me im the leader here you have to have respect for me then the next day he said im sorry but still told me you have to have respect for me another thing my kids celebrate birthdays with me which he cannot stand and also when my kids don't want to go to the meetings he makes them anyways is that right to do? also I don't got no part in the house we live in I mean I want to have a little birthday party at my house for my son and he said know I mean what does he own everything? am I suppose to bow down to him? also I cant cut my sons hair they way I want it to be I just don't know what to do please help cause it hurts and his mom is a Jehovah witness and believe me she does not make it better or care about my situation at all but when it comes to her son she understands everything.

Answer
Hi Christina,

Sorry my answer is kind of long but it's really good information so please keep reading :)

I am so sorry that you are going through this. I was raised as a Jehovah's Witnesses so I don't celebrate birthdays or holidays. I've had relatives who were married to unbelievers/ non- JW's and they showed respect for their mates. For instance if their mate and children were not interested in becoming JW's they respected their wishes, by loving leaving the home when a birthday celebration or holiday party was taking place.

The basic principle of headship is set out at 1 Corinthians 11:3. However the husband's role is not something that he should use to lord over his wife. Considering that Christ is his head and he left a model for him to follow as head, he is instead to treat his wife with the same love, patience and respect that Jesus Christ treats the congregation with.

"22 A Christian husband who loves his wife as he does himself will exercise tender, considerate headship."-- Watchtower May 15, 2010 p. 17 par. 22

The following excerpt comes from an earlier article in the same watchtower entitled: Men, Do You Submit to Christ’s Headship?

The article details how a husband is to treat his wife, and the consequences of not doing so.

"‘Assigning Wives Honor’
15 Consider now Peter’s counsel to married men. He wrote: “You husbands, continue dwelling in like manner with [your wives] according to knowledge, assigning them honor as to a weaker vessel, the feminine one.” (1 Pet. 3:7) To honor someone means to hold that individual in high esteem. Thus, you would consider the opinions, needs, and wants of such a person and may defer to that one where there is no vital issue at stake. That is how a husband should deal with his wife.
16 When telling husbands to honor their wives, Peter adds a warning: “In order for your prayers not to be hindered.” (1 Pet. 3:7) That clearly shows how seriously Jehovah views the way a man treats his wife. Failure to show honor to her could hinder his prayers. Moreover, do not wives generally respond positively to being treated honorably by their husbands?
17 On the matter of loving one’s wife, God’s Word counsels: “Husbands ought to be loving their wives as their own bodies. . . . For no man ever hated his own flesh; but he feeds and cherishes it, as the Christ also does the congregation . . . Let each one of you individually so love his wife as he does himself.” (Eph. 5:28, 29, 33) To what extent should husbands love their wives? “Husbands,” wrote Paul, “continue loving your wives, just as the Christ also loved the congregation and delivered up himself for it.” (Eph. 5:25) Yes, a husband should be willing even to lay down his life for his wife, just as Christ did for others. When the Christian husband deals with his wife tenderly, considerately, attentively, unselfishly, it is easier for his wife to submit to his headship.
18 Is assigning honor to wives in this way too much to expect from husbands? No, Jehovah would never ask them to do something that is beyond their capabilities. Besides, Jehovah’s worshippers have access to the greatest force in the universe—God’s holy spirit. Jesus said: “If you, although being wicked, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more so will the Father in heaven give holy spirit to those asking him!” (Luke 11:13) In their prayers, husbands can ask that by means of his spirit, Jehovah will help them in their dealings with others, including their wives.—Read Acts 5:32.
19 Indeed, men bear a heavy responsibility to learn how to be submissive to Christ and imitate his headship. But what about women, wives in particular? The next article will discuss how they should view their role in Jehovah’s arrangement."


In The Bible Teach Book (one of our Bible study aids)it emphasis the importance of being respectful while declining to part take in celebrations:

"WHAT ABOUT FAMILY MEMBERS?
16 What if family members do not share your beliefs? Again, be tactful. There is no need to make an issue of every custom or celebration that your relatives choose to observe. Instead, respect their right to their views, just as you want them to respect your right to yours. (Matthew 7:12) Avoid any actions that would make you a participant in the holiday. Still, be reasonable when it comes to matters that do not amount to actual celebration. Of course, you should always act in a way that will leave you with a good conscience.—1 Timothy 1:18, 19.
17 What can you do so that your children do not feel deprived because of not celebrating unscriptural holidays? Much depends on what you do at other times of the year. Some parents set aside times to give presents to their children. One of the best gifts you can give your children is your time and loving attention." (Chapter 16 Paragraph 16)

I got all of my answers from WOL.JW.org. If you ever have any question you can visit the website, or feel free to contact me again. I really hope this helps.

With Warm Regards,

Pam B

Jehovah`s Witness

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Sister Pam B

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Questions about Jehovah's Witnesses and our beliefs.

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Learning Bible teachings since 1975. I was baptized in 1994.

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Jehovah's Witness

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I have a BFA in graphic design and I'm in school for my MFA in animation right now.

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