Jehovah`s Witness/dating a separated woman


a woman who has been married for 18 yrs, has been separated for 4years. they married civilly at the municipal hall by a minister in 95 and separated in 2009. the woman is a born again christian and the man is a roman catholic. the woman has suffered emotional and mental torture not to mention the physical abuse from the husband, including him physically hurting their kids. he has been a womanizer all the duration of their marriage and has always promised to change but he just got worse and the wife and children decided to kick him out of the house (after the youngest daughter witnesses for herself, the father romancing an 18year old girl inside their house). now he is living in with a mid 20s woman not to mention, he has a kid with another woman and she seems to be pregnant again. he has several relationships with other women but he still supports the wife and kids. now the wife met a young man who is a jehovah's witness. they have been dating but not so often because of the distance of their homes. now my question is, what is the best thing to do for them to be together that is allowed by both God and man made law? do they have a chance to be together?

Good evening, and thank you for writing.

Wow...what a guy, this man is!  My heart goes out to the poor woman in question here.  

Okay, this question is not one that can be answered with a simple answer, because there are some circumstances here worthy of consideration.  By that, I mean that I cannot just say "yes, they have a right to be together", or "no, they do not have the right".  

Here's why...there is the Biblical teaching concerning divorce and remarriage, and there is also the problem of a JW and a born again Christian forming a romantic relationship.  

First, the Biblical teaching....God's intent for marriage, is that it be permanent, and until "death do us part".  Today, people are getting separated and divorced for all sorts of selfish reasons, such as...

"He doesn't treat me right"

"She can't cook"

"He is hateful, mean, and verbally abusive"

"She doesn't appreciate all my hard work"

"He leaves his dirty socks in the middle of the floor"

"She nags me day and night"

"He won't lift the toilet seat"

"She doesn't look like she used to"

"He doesn't pay attention to me anymore, and there is this guy at work who makes me feel beautiful"

"She doesn't ever feel like romance, but the young lady in the office makes me feel attractive"

And the list goes on and on.  NONE of these are valid reasons for dissolving a marriage.  The vows taken by both parties, are serious, sacred, and to be honored.  And those who dishonor them, will stand before God.

The Scripture does give ONE reason for a Christian to dissolve a marriage, and to get re-married.....when the other party is guilty of fornication.  And in the case you outlined above, it seems that this lady has Scriptural grounds for divorce, and to remarry.

So, on that basis alone, she has the right to remarry, once her divorce from her current husband is final.  Now, let me just add that I do not believe she has a Scriptural right to be dating ANYONE, while she is still married.  I realize the husband is doing so, but that doesn't excuse her for doing what he is doing.  If she's a Christian, she is supposed to know better.

Now, this is where the second issue comes into play.....BOTH of them are going against their own teachings.  The JW man is not supposed to be dating a non-JW woman, especially one who is still married.  And the Christian woman is not supposed to be "unequally yoked" (2 Cor. 6:14) with a JW, especially while SHE is still married.  You did not state the JW man's marital status, so I will assume he is single.

As for man-made law, I doubt there is anything that prohibits them dating...only that they cannot be married until she is single.  But God's law is actually the only thing I am considering here, and I see no Scriptural way around the fact that they are both dating someone that EACH would deem the other as being an "unbeliever".

What she needs to do, is to put her situation in God's hands, and wait for His timing.  I believe that she is probably very lonely, and ready to move on, which is understandable.  But she is also doing what SHE wants, and not what is Scripturally correct.

That is about the best answer I can give you.  If you need me to clarify anything further, please do not hesitate to ask.  Thanks for writing, and have a wonderful evening.


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Derrick Holland


I was raised in the religion known as Jehovah`s Witnesses for 13 years. Since becoming a born-again Christian, I have researched extensively this religion, especially their doctrines and their history. I can answer questions about their doctrines from the perspective of Biblical Christianity. To be clear: Jehovahs Witnesses is the religion of my upbringing, though I myself was never baptized into the religion, nor have I ever been considered as a Jehovahs Witness.


29 years of Biblical research into the fundamental doctrines of the Christian faith, and how they differ from the teachings of the Watchtower.

I would advise each questioner to this forum, to carefully READ the profiles of the various volunteers. There are several such as myself, who are not practicing JWs, but will provide you with an accurate and honest answer, regarding JW teaching. If we don't know the answer, we will try to research and get it for you. There are also some excellent practicing JWs here, who also endeavor to give you a factual and honest answer, based on their point of view. I believe by getting both points of view, the questioner can weigh the evidence for themselves, and make an informed decision. Unfortunately, there are also 3 here who claim to be JWs, but do NOT give honest, or well-researched answers. They will tell you only what they want you to believe, and they often hide facts about the history of their religion, as well as print untruths about other people's beliefs. This is done in an attempt to deceive the unsuspecting reader. It can be easily seen who these 3 are, simply by reading the public posts and "answers" which they write. Their posts will normally be filled with personal attacks, and if you question them about some teaching or aspect of the Watchtower that makes them uncomfortable, they will often reject your question, question your motives for asking it, tell you that you have been reading "apostate" sites, or turn the conversation into an attack on another expert. These ones are better avoided, as there is nothing to be gained by way of positive discussion, as they are not interested in intelligent conversation, or honest dialogue. If after reading the forum, you still have any questions as to who they are, just ask me, and I will be happy to tell you. And I can also provide documentation of their willful dishonesty. One thing is for a forum where people from both sides claim to be "Christians", there should never be any willful lying. Such ones only create a distraction in the forum, and provide nothing of any real value.

High School, some college. Studies of God's Word, the Bible, and how it compares to JW theology. I have found my own personal study and experiences to be far more valuable than any formal education or training. The Bible message is clear...Salvation is ONLY through and by the shed blood of Jesus Christ, and no religious organization has a thing to do with it. While attendance at a Bible-preaching, Bible-believing church is a must for spiritual growth and fellowship, no church can grant salvation to its members. Nor is joining a particular group a prerequisite for being saved.

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