AboutBrenda Martin Expertise I have been one of Jehovah`s Witneses now for over 30 years, in those years I have brought up 4 children, teaching each of them the bible.Being one of Jehovah`s Witnesses has helped me cope with my Epilepsy and bring up a daughter with learning difficulties.I have conducted bible studies with people from nearly every denomination i.e. Muslim. Having used the bible all these years to answer peoples questions, I feel I am qualified to give any answer regarding Jehovah`s Witnesses and the bible.
Experience My experience has been one of attending bible lectures 5 times a week,taking part in these lectures in front of an audience and being with thousands of J.W. at conventions where I have seen the bible at work in peoples lives.It is truly a miracle when you see thousands of people meeting together and not one policeman needed, and not even a piece of litter in sight.It is like another world.
What am I to do knowing that a fellow witness is acting in this manner?
What guidance can I provide ... I have already pointed him to the scriptures that you have noted.
What more can I do?
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Followup To
Question -
I have a male friend who is a Jehovah's Witness. He is currently married to his second wife. His first marriage was an abusive one (his wife was violent). During this time his wife left him. While separated from his wife he had a sexual relationship with the woman who is now his wife while he was still married. I understand that he was allowed to remarry because the vows were broken by adultery. Is this correct?
Now although he is married he is in love with someone other than this second wife. He and the other woman spend time together in the day. They go to work together, home together and have lunch together. He has told her that he loves her and that he knows deep inside that she is the person that he is meant to be with. The kissed, hug and hold each other practically on a daily basis. Are these actions considered as adultery to a Jehovah's Witness?
I have told him that his is not being faithful to his wife but he says that as long as he and the woman he is in love with do not have sexual relations that his is not being unfaithful.
Can you please tell me what is right and provide scriptural guidance...
Answer -
HI Anita, you said--"HE HAD A SEXUAL RELATIONSHIP WITH THE WOMAN WHO IS NOW HIS WIFE WHILE HE WAS STILL MARRIED. I UNDERSTAND THAT HE WAS ALLOWED TO REMARRY BECAUSE THE VOWS WERE BROKEN BY ADULTERY. IS THIS CORRECT?"
Adultery is the only grounds for divorce yes, however if he had sexual relations with anyone but his wife, he’s also the guilty party, he would have been disfellowshipped from the congregation, so I’m assuming he must have repented and said it wont happen again, if he is still attending?
NOW ALTHOUGH HE IS MARRIED HE IS IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE OTHER THAN THIS SECOND WIFE. KISSED, HUG AND HOLD EACH OTHER PRACTICALLY ON A DAILY BASIS. ARE THESE ACTIONS CONSIDERED AS ADULTERY TO A JEHOVAH'S WITNESS?
The bible says if a man even “looks longingly” at a woman he has “commited adultery in his heart” at the very least someone should have a word with him and point out his wrongdoing, if he refuses to listen, the elders, or another Witness, should be told of his conduct so it can be dealt with.
“You heard that it was said, ‘You must not commit adultery.’ But I say to you that everyone that keeps on looking at a woman so as to have a passion for her has already committed adultery with her in his heart. (Matthew 5; 27)
HE SAYS THAT AS LONG AS HE AND THE WOMAN HE IS IN LOVE WITH DO NOT HAVE SEXUAL RELATIONS THAT HIS IS NOT BEING UNFAITHFUL.
Who is he kidding? I’m sure Jehovah doesn’t see it like that, and I’m sure his wife wouldn’t see it like that either. He can carry on as he is and fool his wife and people at the hall, but he cannot fool Jehovah, he sees all and will judge him accordingly.
“ If we make the statement: “We have no sin,” we are misleading ourselves and the truth is not in us. 9 If we confess our sins, he is faithful and righteous so as to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness. 10 If we make the statement: “We have not sinned,” we are making him a liar, and his word is not in us.” (1 John 1;8-10)
All the best
Brenda
Answer “WHAT MORE CAN I DO?”
Why Report What Is Bad?
WATCHTOWER 15/8/97---
Clearly, those who have no love for Jehovah are not likely to appreciate having their error brought to light. The sinful human tendency is to resist reproof and resent whoever gives it. (Compare John 7:7.) Little wonder that many are as silent as stones when it comes to revealing the wrongs of others to those who have the authority to correct them.
Appreciating the Value of Reproof
Among Jehovah’s people, however, there is a different attitude toward reproof. Godly men and women deeply appreciate the arrangement Jehovah has made to help erring ones inside the Christian congregation. They recognize such discipline as an expression of his loving-kindness.—Hebrews 12:6-11.
Jehovah’s servants can become involved in serious wrongdoing, even those who have been faithful for many years. Recognizing that the elders can assist, most take the initiative to approach them for help. (James 5:13-16) But sometimes a wrongdoer may try to cover up his sin, as did King David. ***What should we do if we come to know about serious wrongdoing in the congregation?
Whose Responsibility Is It?
When elders learn about serious wrongdoing, they approach the individual involved to give needed help and correction. It is the elders’ responsibility to judge such ones inside the Christian congregation. Keeping a close watch on its spiritual condition, they assist and admonish anyone who is taking an unwise or wrong step.—1 Corinthians 5:12, 13; 2 Timothy 4:2; 1 Peter 5:1, 2.
**But what if you are not an elder and you come to know about some serious wrongdoing on the part of another Christian? Guidelines are found in the Law that Jehovah gave to the nation of Israel. The Law stated that if a person was a witness to apostate acts, sedition, murder, or certain other serious crimes, it was his responsibility to report it and to testify to what he knew. Leviticus 5:1 states: “Now in case a soul sins in that he has heard public cursing and he is a witness or he has seen it or has come to know of it, if he does not report it, then he must answer for his error.”—Compare Deuteronomy 13:6-8; Esther 6:2; Proverbs 29:24.
Though not under the Mosaic Law, Christians today can be guided by the principles behind it. (Psalm 19:7, 8) So if you learn about the serious wrongdoing of a fellow Christian, what should you do?
Handling the Matter
First of all, it is important that there is valid reason to believe that serious wrongdoing has really occurred. “Do not become a witness against your fellowman without grounds,” stated the wise man. “Then you would have to be foolish with your lips.”—Proverbs 24:28.
You may decide to go directly to the elders. It is not wrong to do so. Usually, however, the most loving course is to approach the person involved. (which you have done) Perhaps the facts are not as they appear to be. Or perhaps the situation is already being handled by the elders. Calmly discuss the matter with the person. If there remains reason to believe that a serious wrong has been committed, encourage him or her to approach the elders for help, and explain the wisdom of doing so. Do not talk to others about the matter, for that would be gossip.
***If the person does not report to the elders within a reasonable period of time, then YOU SHOULD!. One or two elders will then discuss the matter with the accused. The elders need to “search and investigate and inquire thoroughly” to see if wrong has been done. If it has, they will handle the case according to Scriptural guidelines.—Deuteronomy 13:12-14.
At least two witnesses are required to establish a charge of wrongdoing. (John 8:17; Hebrews 10:28) If the person denies the charge and your testimony is the only one, the matter will be left in Jehovah’s hands. (1 Timothy 5:19, 24, 25) This is done in the knowledge that all things are “openly exposed” to Jehovah and that if the person is guilty, eventually his sins will “catch up” with him.—Hebrews 4:13; Numbers 32:23.
But suppose the person does deny the charge and you are the only witness against him. Could you now be open to a countercharge of slander? No, not unless you have gossiped to those not involved in the matter. It is not slanderous to report conditions affecting a congregation to those having authority and responsibility to oversee and correct matters. It is, in fact, in line with our desire always to do what is correct and loyal.—Compare Luke 1:74, 75.
Maintaining Holiness in the Congregation
One reason for reporting wrongdoing is that it works to preserve the cleanness of the congregation. Jehovah is a clean God, a holy God. He requires all those who worship him to be spiritually and morally clean. His inspired Word admonishes: “As obedient children, quit being fashioned according to the desires you formerly had in your ignorance, but, in accord with the Holy One who called you, do you also become holy yourselves in all your conduct, because it is written: ‘You must be holy, because I am holy.’” (1 Peter 1:14-16) Individuals who practice uncleanness or wrongdoing can bring defilement and Jehovah’s disfavor upon an entire congregation unless action is taken to correct or remove them.—Compare Joshua, chapter 7.
Today, the vast majority of brothers and sisters in congregations throughout the earth work hard to preserve the spiritual cleanness of the congregation by individually maintaining an approved standing before God. Some suffer to do so; others have even died in order to keep integrity. Surely to condone or cover up wrongdoing would show a lack of appreciation for these efforts.
Help for Erring Ones
Why do some who have fallen into gross sin hold back from approaching the congregation elders? Often it is because they are not aware of the benefits of going to the elders. Some incorrectly believe that if they confess, their sin will be exposed to the entire congregation.* OTHERS DELUDE THEMSELVES AS TO THE GRAVITY OF THEIR COURSE. Still others think they can readjust themselves without the aid of the elders.
But such wrongdoers need loving help from the congregation elders. James wrote: “Is there anyone sick among you? Let him call the older men of the congregation to him, and let them pray over him, greasing him with oil in the name of Jehovah. And the prayer of faith will make the indisposed one well, and Jehovah will raise him up. Also, if he has committed sins, it will be forgiven him.”—James 5:14, 15.
What a wonderful provision to help erring ones to restore their spirituality! By applying soothing counsel from God’s Word and by praying in their behalf, the elders can help the spiritually ailing ones to recover from their erroneous ways. Thus, rather than feeling condemned, repentant ones often feel refreshed and relieved when they meet with loving elders. A young West African man had committed fornication and had covered his sin for some months. After his sin became manifest, he said to the elders: “How I wish someone would have asked about my involvement with that girl! It’s such a relief to bring this thing into the open.”—Compare Psalm 32:3-5.
An Act of Principled Love
Baptized servants of God have “passed over from death to life.” (1 John 3:14) But if they commit serious sin, they have turned back to the way of death. If they are not helped, they may become hardened in wrongdoing, not desiring to repent and return to the worship of the true God.—Hebrews 10:26-29.
The reporting of wrongdoing is an act of genuine concern for the wrongdoer. James wrote: “My brothers, if anyone among you is misled from the truth and another turns him back, know that he who turns a sinner back from the error of his way will save his soul from death and will cover a multitude of sins.”—James 5:19, 20.
So, then, why report what is bad? Because it works what is good. Really, to report wrongdoing is an act of Christian principled love shown toward God, toward the congregation, and toward the wrongdoer. As each member of the congregation loyally upholds God’s righteous standards, Jehovah will richly bless the congregation as a whole. Wrote the apostle Paul: “He [Jehovah] will also make you firm to the end, that you may be open to no accusation in the day of our Lord Jesus Christ.”—1 Corinthians 1:8.
