AboutBrenda Martin Expertise I have been one of Jehovah`s Witneses now for over 30 years, in those years I have brought up 4 children, teaching each of them the bible.Being one of Jehovah`s Witnesses has helped me cope with my Epilepsy and bring up a daughter with learning difficulties.I have conducted bible studies with people from nearly every denomination i.e. Muslim. Having used the bible all these years to answer peoples questions, I feel I am qualified to give any answer regarding Jehovah`s Witnesses and the bible.
Experience My experience has been one of attending bible lectures 5 times a week,taking part in these lectures in front of an audience and being with thousands of J.W. at conventions where I have seen the bible at work in peoples lives.It is truly a miracle when you see thousands of people meeting together and not one policeman needed, and not even a piece of litter in sight.It is like another world.
Question I've been dating a JW for the past month, and before that we were really close friends for around 6 months. I am not of any religion, although i still have my beliefs. My boyfriend told me that it didn't concern him that i was not a JW, but all of a sudden he tells me that he got caught up in us and did not think about how wrong it was. So now he is in the decision making process of whether we should stay together or break up.
I didn't really know anything about his religion so i have been researching it on the internet, and also reading what you've been posting on this site. I've asked my boyfriend to provide me with a book so that i can learn about his religion, but I don't think that it is going to improve my chanced in proving to him that i understand how hard it must be for him.
Keeping in mind that i fully support my boyfriend in every way possible, and i am honestly not bothered by him going to church, etc. To an extent, and from what i have read about, I believe in the same things that he does...So how could this relationship seem so wrong if we both believe in the same things? He has told me that his parents would not approve of us being together, although they would like me for who i am. I would honestly do anything to keep him, and i have considered joining the JW's (but is it that easy?) i've always wanted to be religious and go to church on a sunday, but my family havent brought me up in that way. I have come to the conclusion that I envy him because he goes to church and learns about a religion, and I have ALWAYS wanted that for myself. Could you please help me on this situation?
Thanks, Tina.
Answer HI Tina you asked--"HOW COULD THIS RELATIONSHIP SEEM SO WRONG IF WE BOTH BELIEVE IN THE SAME THINGS?"
Let me first assure you that YOU have done nothing wrong, so let's look at the scriptures your boyfriend has been brought up with and it will help you see the situation from his standpoint okay—
At 2 Corinthians 6:14, we read: “Do not become unevenly yoked with unbelievers.”
Paul consistently applies the term “unbeliever” to individuals who, are no part of the Christian congregation, which is made up of “believers in the Lord.”—Acts 2:41; 5:14; 8:12, 13.
The principle found at 2 Corinthians 6:14 is a valuable guide for Christians in all areas of life and has often been quoted as providing wise counsel for Christians seeking a marriage mate. (Matthew 19:4-6) A dedicated, baptized Christian wisely does not seek a marriage mate among those who are unbelievers, since the values, goals, and beliefs of unbelievers are so different from those of a true Christian.
Paul wrote: “She (or he) is free to be married to whom she wants, ONLY in the Lord.” (1 Corinthians 7:39) In harmony with that counsel, dedicated Christians are urged to seek marriage mates only among those who are “in the Lord.”
A person begins to follow Christ and fully subject himself to the will of God when he dedicates himself to God. Thereafter, he offers himself for baptism and becomes an ordained minister with an approved standing before Jehovah God. So, then, to ‘marry in the Lord' means to marry someone who has demonstrated that he is truly a believer, a dedicated “slave of God and of the Lord Jesus Christ.”—James 1:1.
HE HAS TOLD ME THAT HIS PARENTS WOULD NOT APPROVE OF US BEING TOGETHER, ALTHOUGH THEY WOULD LIKE ME FOR WHO I AM.
Yeah that's true, because his parents have taught him the bible and they know God's requirements for dating and marriage, and they know to date someone who is not one of JW's is going against what Jehovah says, any JW parent would be exactly the same. BUT there is nothing wrong with you, I'm sure you're a lovely person, its just that as Christians we have to decide whether to obey God or do what WE want, for your boyfriend to keep on going out with you, would be to disobey God ,so can you see the dilemma he's in.
I HAVE CONSIDERED JOINING THE JW'S (BUT IS IT THAT EASY?)
Now this is a different matter entirely, to “join” Jehovah's Witnesses takes time, it starts with a regular weekly bible study and progresses from there, if the person decides to keep it going that is. BUT a word of warning, don't just study the bible so you can get your boyfriend back, study it for you, and one day you will have what you “envy” in your boyfriend and who knows maybe one day in the future you will also have him, but first get yourself sorted and see what happens.
A person who is studying the Bible with Jehovah's Witnesses and who is making fine spiritual progress is to be commended. However, he has not yet dedicated himself to Jehovah and committed himself to a life of service and sacrifice. He is still making necessary changes. He needs to complete the major changes involved in becoming a dedicated, baptized Christian before contemplating another major life change, such as marriage.
Would it be advisable for a Christian to pursue courtship with someone who seems to be making good progress in his Bible study—perhaps with the intention of waiting until he gets baptized before marrying him? No. The motives of a Bible student could well become confused if he is aware that a dedicated Christian wants to marry him but will not do so until he is baptized.
For the most part, an individual is an unbaptized publisher only for a limited period of time, until he progresses to the point of baptism. So the above counsel to marry only in the Lord is not unreasonable. What, though, if someone is of marriageable age, has been brought up in a Christian family, has been active in the congregation for a number of years, and serves as an unbaptized publisher? Well, what has held him back from giving his life to Jehovah in dedication? Why does he hesitate? Does he have doubts? While he is not an unbeliever, he cannot be spoken of as being “in the Lord.”
Paul's counsel on marriage is for our benefit. (Isaiah 48:17) When both prospective mates have dedicated themselves to Jehovah, their commitment to each other in marriage has a solid, spiritual foundation. They share the same values and the same goals. This greatly contributes to a happy union. Moreover, by ‘marrying in the Lord,' one shows loyalty to Jehovah, and that leads to enduring blessings, for “with someone loyal [Jehovah] will act in loyalty.”—Psalm 18:25.
