Expert: Derrick Holland - 6/5/2006

Question
One of my close cousins is a JW. She is going to turn 18 yrs old in July and 1 week later, she is going to be married.  I have met the JW that she is to marry, he is 6 years older than her and they have nothing in common, they dont even seem to get along very well.  I dont want to offend her by asking but I was wondering if JWs do arranged marriages?

Answer
Hello Heather, and thanks for writing.  

This is a question I have never had before, so I am simply going to tell you what I have seen from my own experience.   

First of all, the situation you describe does sound like a pre-arranged marriage, so I guess maybe some JWs may do it.  I do not believe this is a teaching of theirs, however.  I have known many JWs over the years who have married, and I know of none of those that were pre-arranged.  

In fact, this religion has historically discouraged marriage in general, though not forbidding it.  Many JWs have opted not to marry, because the Watchtower has a history of telling its members that the "end is near", and that it would be better to wait and marry in the "new system".

So, while I cannot think of a time I have ever known a pre-arranged marriage between JWs, I cannot say that it has never happened either.  

Personally, I do not see why your cousin would be offended, provided you ask her in a "just wondering" sort of way.  Or, you could just ask her how they got together.  I cannot see why she would be upset at that.

I wish I could give you a better answer, but like I said, this is a question I have never had before.  But if I had to say, based on what I have personally seen, my answer would be...."No", arranged marriages are not a teaching or official practice of Jehovah's Witnesses.

If I can be of any further help, please do not hesitate to ask.  

Take care.

Derrick