AboutBrenda Martin Expertise I have been one of Jehovah`s Witneses now for over 30 years, in those years I have brought up 4 children, teaching each of them the bible.Being one of Jehovah`s Witnesses has helped me cope with my Epilepsy and bring up a daughter with learning difficulties.I have conducted bible studies with people from nearly every denomination i.e. Muslim. Having used the bible all these years to answer peoples questions, I feel I am qualified to give any answer regarding Jehovah`s Witnesses and the bible.
Experience My experience has been one of attending bible lectures 5 times a week,taking part in these lectures in front of an audience and being with thousands of J.W. at conventions where I have seen the bible at work in peoples lives.It is truly a miracle when you see thousands of people meeting together and not one policeman needed, and not even a piece of litter in sight.It is like another world.
I'm a psychotherapist and my client grew up as a Jehovah's Witness. She described her mother's parenting style as very strict and involved frequenst physical discipline. What would you say is the most important value to be taught in parenting as a Jehovah's Witness? Could you educate me a little bit on the Jehovah's Witness' typical parenting style?
Thank you very much.
Yuki.
Answer Hi Yuki, you said--"SHE DESCRIBED HER MOTHER'S PARENTING STYLE AS VERY STRICT AND INVOLVED FREQUENST PHYSICAL DISCIPLINE".
What a shame, “frequent physical discipline” is not the norm for JW's and their children, so I must point out, her mothers way of dealing with her is not in any way indicative of how ALL JW's discipline their children. Just as if you had a Catholic as one of your patients, you wouldn't dream of assuming all Catholics are the same would you?
"WHAT WOULD YOU SAY IS THE MOST IMPORTANT VALUE TO BE TAUGHT IN PARENTING AS A JEHOVAH'S WITNESS?"
The foremost concern of Christian parents is filling their child's spiritual needs. ( Deuteronomy 8:3.) With what goal? To help their child to develop a Christlike personality, in effect, to put on “the new personality.” (Ephesians 4:24)
How can parents help their children from earliest childhood to develop these qualities? By following a procedure outlined long ago.
Shortly before the nation of Israel entered the Promised Land, Jehovah told Israelite parents: “These words that I am commanding you today must prove to be on your heart; and you must inculcate them in your son and speak of them when you sit in your house and when you walk on the road and when you lie down and when you get up.” (Deuteronomy 6:6, 7) Yes, parents need to be examples, companions, communicators, and teachers.
Be an example.-- First, Jehovah said: “These words . . . must prove to be on your heart.” Then, he added: “You must inculcate them in your son.” So godly qualities must first be in the parent's heart. The parent must love the truth and live it. Only then can he reach the child's heart. (Proverbs 20:7) Why? Because children are influenced more by what they see than by what they hear.—Luke 6:40; 1 Corinthians 11:1.
Be a companion.-- Jehovah told parents in Israel: ‘Speak with your children when you sit in your house and when you walk on the road.' This requires spending time with the children no matter how busy the parents are.
Be a communicator.-- Spending time with your child will help you to communicate with him. The more you communicate, the better you will discern how his personality is developing. Remember, though, communicating is more than talking. “I had to develop the art of listening,” said a mother in Brazil, “listening with my heart.” Her patience bore fruit when her son began to share his feelings with her.
Children need “a time to laugh . . . and a time to skip about,” a time for recreation. (Ecclesiastes 3:1, 4; Zechariah 8:5) Recreation is very productive when parents and children enjoy it together. It is a sad fact that in many homes recreation means watching television. While some television programs may be entertaining, many destroy good values, and watching television tends to stifle communication in a family. Therefore, why not do something creative with your children? Sing, play games, associate with friends, visit enjoyable places. Such activities encourage communication.
Be a teacher.-- “You must inculcate [these words] in your son,” said Jehovah. The context tells you what and how to teach. First, “you must love Jehovah your God with all your heart and all your soul and all your vital force.” (Deuteronomy 6:5) Then, “these words . . . you must inculcate.” Impart instruction aimed at developing whole-souled love for Jehovah and his laws. (Compare Hebrews 8:10.) The word “inculcate” means to teach by repetition. So Jehovah, in effect, tells you that the primary way to help your children develop a godly personality is to talk about him on a consistent basis. This includes having a regular Bible study with them.
Most parents know that getting information into a child's heart is not easy. The apostle Peter urged fellow Christians: “As newborn infants, form a longing for the unadulterated milk belonging to the word.” (1 Peter 2:2) The expression “form a longing” suggests that many do not naturally hunger for spiritual food. Parents may need to find ways to develop that longing in their child.
Jesus reached hearts by using illustrations. (Mark 13:34; Luke 10:29-37) This teaching method is especially effective with children. Teach Bible principles by using colorful, interesting stories, perhaps those found in the publication My Book of Bible Stories. Get the children involved. Let them use their creativity in drawing and acting out Bible events. Jesus also used questions. (Matthew 17:24-27) Imitate his method during your family study. Instead of simply stating a law of God, ask questions like, Why did Jehovah give us this law? What will happen if we keep it? What will happen if we do not keep it? Such questions help a child to reason and to see that God's laws are practical and good.—Deuteronomy 10:13.
By being an example, a companion, a communicator, and a teacher, you can help your child from his earliest years to form a close personal relationship with Jehovah God. This relationship will encourage your child to be happy as a Christian. He will strive to live up to his faith even when faced with peer pressure and temptations. Always help him to appreciate this precious relationship.—Proverbs 27:11.
That is what I endeavoured to do with my 4 children and likewise most of JW's also do the same.
Now as for discipline—
Discipline is training that corrects the mind and heart. Children need it constantly. Paul counsels fathers to “go on bringing [their children] up in the discipline and mental-regulating of Jehovah.” (Ephesians 6:4) Parents should discipline in love, just as Jehovah does. (Hebrews 12:4-11) Discipline based on love can be conveyed by reasoning. Hence, we are told to “listen to discipline.”
(Proverbs 8:33) How should discipline be given?
Some parents think that disciplining their children involves merely speaking to them in threatening tones, scolding them, or even insulting them. However, on the same subject, Paul cautions: “You, fathers, do not be irritating your children.” (Ephesians 6:4) All Christians are urged to be “gentle toward all . . . instructing with mildness those not favorably disposed.” (2 Timothy 2:24, 25) Christian parents, while recognizing the need for firmness, try to keep these words in mind when disciplining their children. At times, though, reasoning is insufficient, and some kind of punishment may be needed.—Proverbs 22:15.
Different children require different kinds of discipline. Some are not “corrected by mere words.” For them, the occasional punishment administered for disobedience may be lifesaving. (Proverbs 17:10; 23:13, 14; 29:19) A child, though, should understand why he is being punished. “The rod and reproof are what give wisdom.” (Proverbs 29:15; Job 6:24) Moreover, punishment has boundaries. “I shall have to chastise you to the proper degree,” said Jehovah to his people. (Jeremiah 46:28b) The Bible in no way endorses angry whippings or severe beatings, which bruise and even injure a child.—Proverbs 16:32.
When Jehovah warned his people that he would discipline them, he first said: “Do not be afraid . . . for I am with you.” (Jeremiah 46:28a) Likewise, parental discipline, in whatever appropriate form, should never leave a child feeling rejected. (Colossians 3:21) Rather, the child should sense that discipline is given because the parent is ‘with him,' on his side.
I am sad to hear about your patient, but I can assure you the mother's methods are not in harmony with what JW's believe and teach, perhaps her mother is ill.
