Expert: Derrick Holland - 6/5/2006

Question
hi there,
my wife used to be a jehovas witness, she left due to personal reasons, but she and I are very confused.
my wifes sister and brother-in-law who is a jehova's witness refuses to talk to my wife because she left the congregation but my wifes mother and father still continues to talk to her. What is the story on this issue? who is right her sister or mother? whoever is right could this be explained, why?

Answer
Hello, and thank you for writing.  

In your question, you stated that your wife "used to be a Jehovahs Witness".  By that, I am assuming you mean that she was baptized into the religion.  This is a very key point.  Had she never been a baptized member of the JWs, other JWs would normally not "shun" her, though they would not be encouraged to have close association with her either.  Speaking to her, however, probably would not be forbidden.

However, if she WAS baptized, then that is a different matter altogether.  When a baptized JW leaves the Organization, or is disfellowshipped, they are viewed as "apostate" and are to be shunned by other JWs.  In this case, they are taught not to speak to the former JW, unless absolutely necessary.  Exceptions to this rule would be necessary family matters, such as a sickness or a death in the family, and sometimes not even then.  

You ask who is "right".  Well, that depends on which perspective you are talking about.  From the perspective of JW teaching, her sister is "right".  I think that from a Christian and Scriptural perspective, the parents are "right".  

I know this answer is probably somewhat confusing, but the JW teaching is pretty clear.  It simply appears that your wife's parents are not adhering to the teaching, which I believe is the Christian course to take.  When a religion comes between family ties unnecessarily, then it is wrong, plain and simple.

Hope this helps.  If I can answer any further questions for you, please do not hesitate to ask.

Take care.

Derrick