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Kenya/child custody


We have been married for 5years now but not in a church wedding but i found out that my husband has been cheating on me for the last three years and he has another woman and a 7 months old baby out there. He knew this was what would separate us forever and now that its confirmed, i want to leave him, but the problem is that he is refusing me to leave with my daughter and insist i should either stay or leave alone which i can't go without my daughter.How can you help on getting custody of my kid or please refer me to the necessary office.


Hi Mary ,
As per the law  I think the mother ought to have the custody of the child to the age of 18 years as long as mother does not portray any danger to the welfare of the child. Again if the woman has prove that the man is not honest she may have right to leave but the big question one has to ask is this what value will this separation bring  forth? . If I were you I would consider the following

1.  Is this man offering total fatherly responsibility to your daughter ?
2.  Is this man supporting you fully as his family that he loves and care for ?
3.  Is your separation going to add value to the up bringing of your daughter ?

The truth which might be unknown to you  is that  thousands of married couples  are now living together for sake of their children . At the moment naomba Mwenyezi Mungu akutangulie kufanya umwazi juu ya hii Jambo.

The holy book both Bible and Quran do caution us to be wise in almost everything we do. Since he seems to be carried away by strong waves of confusion from the other woman at the moment may take tremendous effort to make him see the delusional rewards from his secret love affair.  The worst mistake we can do is to try to run into this stormy waves of confusions because you should remain alert and not confused to make the right decisions .  What I would recommend is to talk him in respective manner and firmly  make him to understand that your are not assured of the future life of your daughter.  At this stage I believe and am sure you will agree with fact of life that the best worry you have is the future of your daughter.  If you are leaving him now without  securing all fatherly responsibility to your daughter might work against you in the future should your personal ability to provide to the your daughter hit rocks . Get a professional lawyer who guide you accordingly in securing the future of your kid. The law is there to protect all of us and he will he compelled by the law to provide fully for your daughter unconditionally to the age of 18 years. Remember at this stage you are not seeking separation , you are concerned about the life of your daughter , proper education , proper shelter, proper insurance  and have him assure you this in the court of law . Your argument is that you are not sure if he will be able to provide to your daughter because he has a child from a concubine  and all what you care is the upbringing of your daughter.
This is a massive responsibility that will cause such massive weight in his life and he will be too heavy for the wave of delusional love. The waves from that woman will not be in position to sustain him  for long.

Finally remember it is all about your daughter and not your love, feelings or desires. See things in that angle  remember to seek a honest lawyer.

Above all put all this before God and will give you insight to make the right decision



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Gichuchu Okeno


I am can answer questions about Kenya, Tourism, safari booking, Civil marriage and divorce in Kenya, starting business in Kenya, children adoption, immigrating to Kenya, Visa, retirement in Kenya, safari pricing, hotel rates.I also answer questions about different Kenyan culture, resident permits.


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