Expert: Big D - 10/19/2009

Question
QUESTION: Hi

I am 18 years old and the guy that I like is 22... Ive known him for a few months but some of my friends have known him for about 2 years...
He says that he loves me alot and i love him too, my heart believes that he really cares for me but I am having problems trusting him because he is a big flirt and his reputation is of a player..
He told me all this himself that he flirts with other girls and people think hes a player but he kept reassuring me that he really does have feelings for me, however, he has told me a few lies about his ex and he told me that he told his mom about us but she said we cant be together..he told my friend that he told me these lies because he didnt want to hurt me..
Recently he went to another country to take care of his dads business and other things...he told me hes not sure if he will be able to contact me from there but he will try..and he will be back after a month..he also asked me to send him my pics so that he can look at them when he is missing me alot
Now its been 3 weeks and i have heard nothing from him...no contact at all... I even talked to his best friend and he didnt know anything either because he hasnt been in touch with him either
I feel really happy when I talk to him because he always cheers me up when im feeling sad...ut now i dont know what to do
Can u help me and tell me how can I find out if his feelings for me are true or if he is just playing with me???

Thanks alot and I will follow your advice


ANSWER: Well, I would be careful with this guy. If he hasn't contacted you in three weeks, he's probably re-thinking about that he has done and said to you. If he has lied to you quite a bit, I wouldn't trust him anymore. It sounds to me like he is just playing you, but guys do that to get revenge back at other girls who have broken our hearts. I would just be patient and if he writes back, tell him what you feel about him, maybe that will make your situation change.

---------- FOLLOW-UP ----------

QUESTION: Hey thanks alot for your answer..I think he is avoiding me!! Apparently hes really busy, he still hasnt answered my mail but yesterday I saw him online on Facebook..I sent him an invitation to join a group and he accepted..and then went offline! From another friend I found out that his parents have gotten him engaged to a childhood friend.. And his friends are telling me that hes really busy and not contacting anyone and he isnt even replying to them and his contact number is unavailable! Do you think he could be possibly avoiding me because of this... Why cant he just tell me the truth? What should I do now, should I just wait for him to come back and then ask him???

Answer
You're welcome. Well, this was quite something I was not expecting. I don't want to burst your bubble, but it may already be too late for you. If his parents have gotten him engaged to a childhood friend, which sounds a little strange, because a guy should choose for himself who he wants for his wife of choice, not his parents. I would be a little patient, and give him sometime. Maybe his parents are lying to you, ever thought about that? He could be engaged, but is avoiding you because he doesn't want to hurt you. I had a similar personal experience like that in your shoes. I thought I was truly in love with this girl who became an amazing friend. She would never return my messages, phone calls, or even text messages. I guess I overstepped my limits, but I had to know. When I got home from a trip, I was on facebook, and found her picture in a wedding dress, it broke my heart. But, I took it as a lesson to learn and I was able to let her go over time, but I moved on to better things.