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About Big D
Expertise
When it comes to knowing if he or she likes you, it all starts with a very simple thing known as a crush. It's like a tiny seed planted in our minds that grows out in only one direction until it drives us crazy. Your mind wants to know straight up if that person really likes you or not, and to do anything in your path to get that answer. That's where I want to help you. All I can say to you, is that the first step is patience. I will help you with eye contact, body language, signs he/she will give away, and then to the final step of asking he/she out on a date. I'm here to help you stick to it, until it sticks to you.
Experience
Many of my personal friends come to me with alot of dating problems. I've helped them with certain steps that have worked out for them. I love helping people with dating problems. It helps me to understand more about what people are going through, and how I can help make a happy ending for each of them. I've learned alot from my own experience in that past of what important steps are missed. It can lead to heartache and a shattered dream. I know dating is a like a neverending game, but sometimes it's game over sooner than we think.
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I do not belong to any certain organization.
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I only speak in what has worked for me in the past, and what has helped people I've known.
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I'm only a college student studying for a major.
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The only award that I want is satisfaction for making someone become better.
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You are here: Experts > Teens > Teen Advice > How to Know if He/She Really Likes You > Does she like me back?
Expert: Big D - 10/27/2009
Question
QUESTION: It all started pretty much at the beginning of September, the first two weeks of school had passed and I've gotten my introductions to my classmates for most of my classes out of the way. Then, one day at the beginning of my English class, the girl I have a crush on started talking to me, asking, "Your name is (my name), right?" followed with a smile. I looked into her eyes and was instantly hypnotized by her beauty, still somewhat shocked that she was actually talking to me, I smiled and responded, "Yea..., you're (her name), right?". She sort of blushed and told me I was right. After that, class had started and we didn't talk for the rest of the period but sort of glanced at each other. The next day I realized she is in three of my classes. Well, since she and I were introduced to each other personally, she would say hi to me when I entered each of the classes I have with her, and sometimes she would joke around calling me a stalker for being in so many classes with her, I would joke around too, sarcastically saying I am stalking her. My English class is the class she talks to me the most, she usually starts a conversation with me about school work or sometimes about our personal lives, I always smile and give her full eye contact when responding, also one of my friends in my class can see how interested I am in her and usually laughs when I ignore him when talking to her. So, one day in my English class, we had one of our little conversations, and near the end of the class I could tell she was drawing something in her notebook, but I was thinking realistically and knew it was nothing for me, probably something for one of her friends. Then a couple minutes later I saw her folding up the piece of paper, writing one more thing on it when folded, then gave it to one of the people sitting next to her. She told the person to pass it to me, starting to get nervous I took the piece of paper smiling only to find it saying "BFFs 4ever" with two stick figures smiling, I opened the folded paper to find it having a drawing of a heart with a flower sprouted out of it saying "To my BFF: (my name)". I instantly felt weightless with affection. She told me to keep it and put it in my room, I promised her I would.
Now here is the big question, does she like me back or is she just being a friendly person? I left out quite of bit of other small things that happened, but included all of the major things. I feel so motivated to go to school because of her, but recently after her week long trip and now for the past two weeks, I find her becoming less interested in me. She usually will say hi to me in my English class, but I usually have to start a conversation to talk with her. Could I have an opinion from you on what I should do to show her I am interested in her too? I really don't want to screw this up by asking her out too early.
ANSWER: Hey John,
Well, she may not be interested in dating right now, suffice it to say. A lot of girls will put it off because of past experiences and just want to head in one direction, and not an entire fork, if that makes sense. The best thing I would suggest, is just be yourself around her. Be friends, a good friend of mine told me "friends first, lovers last" and you'll see what I mean in the future. I know it's really hard to start a conversation, and especially if your the one that's starting, I've been there. She could just be wanting to be friends, and hoping that you are getting her message, if not. Get a bunch of your buddies together, and go on a group date, and then call her, don't text! That way their is less pressure on her, and she'll more likely say yes to you. Give that a try, and let me know how things go.
---------- FOLLOW-UP ----------
QUESTION: Thank you for responding. I do understand what you are saying about her might not wanting to date right now, but the only thing that worries me is another guy making the move and asking her out before me. I personally don't want to rush into dating, but it would be nice if we could be in some type of relationship after we become really good friends, because a few others from other answer sites told me that it would be awkward if we started dating too soon. I can already see what your friend meant by saying, "friends first, lovers last", I just hope she realizes how interested I am in her and continues to show more interest in me. The good thing is, I can tell she enjoys talking to me more than other guys that approach her. Also, she is starting conversations with me often again, which gave me more confidence to talk with her and I've become less nervous when starting conversations. I now socialize with her more often by always asking if she wants to be partners for in-class activities and complimenting her on certain things like her artistic skills. I always make sure to be myself and always be a gentleman (politeness, good posture, confidence, etc.). Another good thing is I can tell she's interested in me for who I am. We both are somewhat shy, I'm the smart, polite guy and she is a cheerleader who hangs out with the popular crowd, but she still shows interest in me. Our friendship is only at an early stage, I only talk to her at school and I don't have her phone number yet. Do you have any other tips that could help her and I become closer friends?
ANSWER: Hey John!
How are ya? Okay, well all I can say bro, is just be yourself. If she is showing you that she is more into you then other guys that she talks to, that is a very good sign. She knows you are different because you easily compare. Here's a suggestion, get a group together and invite her. That way their is pressure in trying to ask her out just one on one. What you can do, is see it as a "pre-date" usually in my term of knowledge, it lets you see what she would actually be like on a date, so it will help you to get used to things, you're doing a good job buddy. Give that a try
---------- FOLLOW-UP ----------
QUESTION: Hey, thank you for replying again. I understand that I have to get a group of people together to hang out with her, but she and I hang out with totally different crowds. Like I said in my follow up, she is a cheerleader and hangs out with some of the most popular people at my school, and I'm sort of a quiet, friendly guy that hangs out with average friends (We aren't geeks, nerds or anything that would make people think we are weird, just an average group of friends that likes to hang out at each others houses on the weekends and play video games and drive around finding something to do). My point is, she wouldn't be interested at all if I invited her to hang out with a group of my friends, it would have to be the other way around. Now, how can I be invited to a group of her friends if I don't even have her number and we only talk at school? I sort of need help on how to become better friends at school first, so I can get necessary things from her so it's easier to hang out. Also, when I say she is popular, she isn't one of those girls that is always fought for attention, she just has popular friends from the cheer team who she hangs out with. I appreciate all the help you are giving me.
Answer
Hey John,
Sometimes is best to NOT go for the girl who is popular with all the top noch guys at school. You will notice a difference if you notice other girls who aren't where she is. I know it can seem like the most popular can be the most attractive, it's true, and I've been through it. But later you notice how they really are in the inside, they make fun of people, tease people, and think they are better than others, and also put other people who are successful in school down.
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