Expert: Latoya - 6/29/2009

Question
I have a boyfriend of two years and we've gone through our ups and downs. A few months ago, I used to NEVER look at a guy and think he was the slightest bit cute, but now, if I see a cute guy, then I'll think he's cute. He does the same with girls. But the thing is, I tell him if I think a guy's cute, so I'm being honest. But with him, it's totally different. He doesn't, and hasen't, really been telling me everything. I find out things from other people like what he did yesterday, or what happened, stuff like that. But I can tell when he thinks a girl is cute and it really upsets me, even though he knows I think other guys are cute. Am I just too jealous? Is this healthy or un-healthy for our relationship & what can help make our relationship MUCH stronger? Please help, I don't like feeling like this..

Answer
Hello Krishna,

Thank you for allowing me the opportunity to answer your question.

Men need to have some things that they can have for themselves.  No matter how faithful a man is Krishna he's going to look at and admire other women.  Although you chose to be open and voice who you find is cute, please don't expect him to do this.  He sounds like a smart man, why do I say this?  When in a relationship, men are notorious for landing in the dog house, one of those ways is by showing too much interested in another female.  My own personal opinion is that he's not telling you out of respect.  Don't try to force him into opening up in the way that you are opening up Krishna.  Women are emotional creatures, and we will share, share, share with the man that we love, but men are made up totally different.  

I don't know what things you've been hearing from others, but if it's something serious then I say talk to him about it.  As for him not expressing who he finds to be cute, I say let it go unless he's just too obvious in his reaction.  You could possibly be jealous, but only you truly know if this is the case.  I can tell you that if you are, then how would you feel if he yelled out "Hey baby she's cute!"  You would be furious I'm sure.  Men know this, which is why they keep those thoughts to themselves, may I suggest you try to do the same.  How do you know this doesn't make him uncomfortable?

What can make your relationship stronger?  TRUST, HONESTY, COMMUNICATION, COMMUNICATION, COMMUNICATION.  I can not stress communication enough.  Always communicate your feelings to your mate, but know when to stress the issue or to let it go.  I hope this helped, Good Luck!

Latoya