AboutLatoya Expertise Sometimes our vision can become cloudy when dealing with love and relationships, and sometimes a second voice is needed. Allow me to be that voice of reason. I will be able to provide you with advice, options & necessary steps to handle the situation at hand. I am not proclaiming to have all of the answers, but please know that I will try my best to answer your questions as affectively as possible. I can assure you that any questions you may have regarding love, relationships, If he/she really likes you, etc..will be answered in a timely manner.
Experience Each individual relationship I've been in has allowed me to gain a notch of experience that I have placed on my belt of knowledge. Through my many experiences I've learned how to recognize if a relationship is or is not a healthy one. My knowledge allows me to assist friends and family members when in need of sound advice.
Education/Credentials Experience from high school, college and life
Question Yes, I was originally going to ask Jen; but I decided to go to you, instead, and I just copied and pasted what I sent her. I'm sorry. Lets start this again!
Hi, Latoya [:)]
Before I get into the story--I'm going to say I thought I'd never resort to this sort of thing. No offense, but I'm used to giving the relationship advice and such; and the few times I needed advice, I'd go to the very person I have in mind. So this is sort of really new to me. But thanks anyway for taking the time to read it. :) So I guess the best way is to start from the beginning. I'm 15, and I've been told that I'm a lot wiser for my age. I'm going to be one out of three to take AP Phsychology my sophomore year, next semester. My best friend is 17 (going on 18 in August of 09') is obviously older than I am and graduating this year. No matter how "older I act" I'm no 17 year old, and he's always teasing me about my age and everything. Because of this constant teasing, at first, I didn't see nothing of him. He always got out of his way to pick on me- but insist I smile afterward. He showed me around the high school after school (he missed his ride because of it) on my second day--all of the shortcuts and everything so I wouldn't get lost like all of the other "freshies." Sure, I thought it was nice then- but now I'm thinking more of it. During band he always stick up for me when the other upperclassmen would be, well, upperclassmen toward the quiet and clueless freshman. Apparently, he was the only one who could pick on me. And thats exactly what he did. Sure, I guess you're probably thinking I'm crazy for considering him my best friend over just a year of school- but we've been inseperable ever since. Anyway, after a while he started coming to me with advice on girls and how they thoughts. He'd always ask me "how he would know if a girl liked him" or not (now, I might refer him to this site,) and even once he asked me if he was attractive. Coincidently, this was about the time I started developing feelings for him and I had no idea how to the question. Had he asked me a few weeks before that specific date, I probably would've told him he was okay-looking because at the time he was, but now I find him quite attractive. I was afraid it would freak him out if I told him that outright in front of his (and my) friends like that. I don't remember what I said, specifically. Well, look at that. I'm babbling. Another semester went by and now we're playing a sort of game where we throw questions at each other. I try to make it a variety sort, not to make it clearly obvious that I liked him (because questions can lead one to assume that sort of thing) because I really like the connection we have. As I said before, I go to him for advice and he comes to me, I don't want that ruined. Besides, I've never asked out a guy in my life. I have to remember I'm 15. On that subject, he's graduating this year. No matter how upsetting it is to me that I won't see him at all during school or band practice year after this--its true, and what happens then if by some crazy force I get in a relationship with him? Guy in his freshman year of college going out with a girl in her junior year of high school. One minute, I think there is the slight possibility that he has the same feelings for me that I have for him. The next minute I think he thinks of me as just his little sister or buddy. :/ I feel so selfish. I have the best friendship with a guy I could ever ask for, and now I'm secretly asking for more. Recently, he said he had intense feelings for a girl that he felt bad about having feelings for. He wouldn't tell me who- but all he could tell me that "he loves her more than a sister" For a minute my heart skipped a beat when I heard that because I thought it COULD be me. And then he wanted me to go see Transformers with him (alone) on Friday, which is tomorrow (well, technically today, considering its 12:35 AM as I type this) which brought my hopes up even more. I love Transformers, too- but thats beside the point. But tonight, he was asking me if he should tell a girl-a girl I didn't even know about- that he liked her. No "intense feelings" just, like. He asked my opinion and I think my mood changed..a lot. I told him to do whatever he wanted to do, and he asked me for my real advice- and I said I had none to give. So, we hung up for a while and he called me back less than 5 minutes later saying he got cold feet- and then pressed on to asking what was wrong. I couldn't tell him, because I had it set in my mind that he was DEFINITELY going to reject me. The night before the day I was finally going to see him (I haven't really seen him since the last day of school [June 4th] but we've been on the phone and one the computer talking since the night of Graduation.) So, he told me that "lying to your best friend is the worst thing you could do," and left it that. He knew I wasn't fine--and he wasn't going to let it rest until I told him. Well, thankfully his phone needed charging and he got offline before he cracked me. We are both very stubborn individuals. A part of me wants to be his girlfriend, without a care what everyone else thinks--and the other part of me wants to be happy for him whatever he does and be his best friend forever, something I know I can do- no matter what. But, all of me can't help but imagine myself with him. It makes me feel weak in the knees thinking about it. I think I'll leave it at that, for now. Thanks for taking the time to read it- and I hope you can help me. I'm pretty sure you can, though. Sincerely, Dakota.
Answer Hello Dakota,
No problem, thank you for getting back with me. It's hard to tell if your friend is speaking of you or not. I think he could be, but I don't want to tell you he definitely is and might not be. I think you should probe a little bit more about this mystery person. If he's still bugging you about what's wrong, play it off. Tell him that you got a little jealous because some "new" girl is going to start taking up all his time and then where will that leave you - his best friend? Make it sound as if it's a joke. I'm a pretty blunt person Dakota and I know not everyone can be this way, so I hope that I'm phrasing it in a way that you would possibly feel comfortable. If he responds by saying, oh no that would never happen or something positive like that...Ask him does he think you would like her and if it's someone you know? Probe, where does he know her, etc.. See if he will give you the name of someone else or if he will dance around the questions. If he dances around the questions then more than likely he could like you, which would be a great thing..but ask the questions first if you can and then you and I can go from there. Please keep me posted with follow-up's, I'm here to answer any questions that you may have. Good Luck!
