Expert: Latoya - 8/21/2009

Question
Hello Latoya,

I hope you can help me answer this question that has been bugging me for a while. There is this girl I like that I don’t understand the signs she is giving me. I met this girl and I quickly fell for her. We have so much in common and get along so well I sometimes feel she is the female version of myself, which is kind of creepy but whatever. Well everything was going smooth but there was someone before I came that she had feelings for. They ended up in a relationship and even though everybody was expecting it since they’ve been trying to get together for the longest time, I was still hurt.  
That happened 3 months ago. We still talk a lot but there are moments where I feel she likes me. At kickbacks we would be hugging and laughing together and one time she even kissed me on the cheek for no reason. Little things like that throw me off all the time. Right now their relationship is not going as well and she is always talking to me about it. She wants to go partying with just me tomorrow and not take her boyfriend. Do you have a better understanding of what is happening? If you need more information let me know. Thank you so much.


Answer
Hello Rob,

Thank you for allowing me the opportunity to answer your question.  Based on what you've shared, what she feels for you can go either way.  The signs she are displaying are that of someone who can just view you as a friend or someone who likes you.  A woman who has a close friend (male) will often go to him with their relationship problems with their mate to get the male point of view on things.  The only way you'll know if she cares more for you Rob is if she reveals it to you.  If at some point she does say that she likes your, or her actions begin to display such, try to keep things strictly platonic out of respect for what she has with her other mate.  Although their relationship may no be going too well, continue to be there for her..but let her know if/when that time comes..that before you will pursue something with her she has to be completely out of her current relationship.  

Good luck!

Latoya