Expert: Lulu - 8/2/2009

Question
Hi, I'm 16, and the girl I know is 17. (But I'll be 17 soon so there's no difference really) I've known her for about a year in school, but around April 09 she asked for my phone number (for homework purposes she claimed) and started questioning me about some of the homework we had in the 2 classes we shared. In May she asked me to help her with the homework in a coffee shop, which I did twice with her, although we talked for about an hour after the homework was done. She started text messaging me just to talk, and she did very frequently. I sometimes got messages at 5 AM to finish last night's conversation. Around early June she asked if I would go to a midnight movie with her (her friends came with), to the place she works, and shopping with her, and I said sure to all that I could go to. She also asked if I wanted to go to a grad party with her, and even though I didn't know anyone there, I decided to go. While we had fun at these events (we talked mostly through them), after the party she stopped texting me as much. When I asked why she said she was busy. I decided to reciprocate on all of the things she asked me to and told her that we should do something together soon. She replied, "This would be as friends right?", which was a little odd considering I never asked her that throughout all of those things she invited me to, and I said yes. I'm not exactly the type of person to say "no it's a date", plus I want to make sure she likes me before I do anything like that because I don't want to ruin our friendship (also I assumed that since she asked that question she wanted to just be friends). She told me she couldn't make any promises because she was busy (She wasn't so busy the last few weeks she texted me all the time!)and she hasn't said anything since, it's been around a week, and I'm wondering what's going on here? Thanks!

Answer
Dear Matt,

Has anything happened at the grad party?? You may not remember if you did anything to offend her but girls remember little details. Like if you unknowingly gave her a hint that you were just friends or did something that made her mad at you, that would explain why. Since it's rude to ask why she's so busy, just tell her you though things were going pretty well between you two, but now you get the feeling that something is different or something is bothering her. Then ask if there was anything you did that would make her mad at you? Hopefully she'll tell you what's on her mind!
-Lulu