How to Know if He/She Really Likes You/Guy Friend Likes Me Back?
QUESTION: Hi, Nicolette!
So I'm sorta going through a dilemma here. I've developed a crush on my guy friend, and I have a gut feeling that he may like me back, but I'm not completely sure. I've known him since 9th grade (we'll be seniors this year!) We no longer go to the same school anymore, but we both live in MD. Just recently him and I were talking about how we should meet up at one of the popular hotspots here. Then just 2-3 weeks after that, we actually ran into each other! He was the one who actually saw me and shouted out my name! I just got so happy when I saw him! I ran over into his arms for a hug. It wasn't just a regular hug, it was a great, meaningful hug. He was with a group of his other girl friends, but they just left him when he stopped to talk to me. But he still stayed behind, which I thought was really sweet. We talked and caught up :) He asked if I had a boyfriend and I told him nope! He then told me he was also single, and that we were both on Team Single, haha. He wasn't too happy about how his friends just left him, but he told me he missed me. And then I went, "Awww, I miss you too!" He also looked me in my eyes and said "You look so pretty." After we talked a while, I told him to go look for his friends before he lost them! I really wanna tell him how I feel, but... I'm just so scared of how he might react. I was actually thisclose to telling him (via Twitter, DM) how I felt - he doesn't have a phone to text right now. When I told him I needed to talk to him, he asked what was up. I then told him that I was so scared to tell him this and of how he was gonna react. I immediately sent him another message telling him nevermind. I was actually expecting him to avoid/ignore me after that, because I sounded too obvious. But he's not! I'm almost positive that he knows what I was gonna tell him though. Should I just directly tell him how I feel or just keep quiet? I know this is long, I'm sorry! But thank you so much in advance :)
ANSWER: Hi Tiahara!
Thanks so much for writing in, and for choosing me to answer your question!
Don't worry about the length- I've had people write War and Peace to me before. :)
So many times, when people write to me, they know the answer to their own question, but they come looking for advice because they need or want confirmation. In your case, I think this is absolutely true. I think you know that this boy likes you back, but you're held back by the slight possibility that he might not. From what you've shared with me in your letter, I can practically guarantee that this boy likes you. However, it seems like he's feeling the same way that you are -unsure. He's just trying to play it cool because he's not sure how you feel about taking things to the next level. You're brave enough to want to do something about it, and that already puts you a cut above the rest! I would say it's a bad idea to reveal your feelings over any kind of social media - I would definitely be more direct about it. Even if on the off chance (and it's quite small) that he should say no, I think that your friendship is still strong enough that it will stay intact. Having said that, you really have a win win situation here. :) Definitely be honest and direct with this guy, speak from the heart. What guy doesn't love an authentic woman? ;)
I hope this helps Tiahara, and if you have any more questions, feel free to ask. :)
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QUESTION: Hi again Nicolette!
So my guy friend/crush have been keeping in touch with each other via Twitter :) I've been wanting to hang out with him, but I feel like he's always hanging out with his other friends (girls and guys!) I actually told once him once before that we should meet up and hang out somewhere and he did agree! But the thing is: We haven't yet. If he really like me, wouldn't he have made it happen already? Like I said in my last letter, I'm so positive that he pretty much knows I like him because of the messages I sent him, telling him that I needed to talk to him and that I was scared how he was gonna react. I know that he has his other friends he likes to hang out with, but I wanna hang out him too! Not even to tell him that I like him (yet!) but just to be in his space. I do feel a little left out, but I know he's not trying to make me feel that way on purpose. I heard that it could be easy for him to hang out with his other friends because it's just a friendship. But the reason he might not be jumping to hang out with me is because he probably has feelings for me. Do you think that could be? Should ask him to hang out again or wait for him to ask me?
Thank you so much for your help! :)
Thanks for writing back. I could very well be that he's anxious to hang out with you because he doesn't quite know how to act at this point. From what you've described, that's what it sounds like is going on in this situation. He doesn't quite know to handle this situation. I would ask one more time, and if he says no or doesn't give a positive response, just tell him next time and let him take it from there. :)