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How to Know if He/She Really Likes You/Is she interested in me? Confused


Dear Nicolette,

I met this girl a month or so ago at university; she was really interested at first. Interestingly enough, by coincidence, she had sent me a message on some social networking app in the past. She found me on Facebook and she asked me to tell her about myself. We talked a lot and I got her number. We met for coffee and she seemed quiet and shy; she often looked down and to the side when I talked. We spent a good hour or so together talking about life. After, we said bye and said we'd see each other again. I texted her saying it was nice to finally meet up with her, and she replied saying likewise; she also said she is shy until she gets to know someone better.

Texting after the first meet up was just fine, and we made plans to meet again. She asked if I liked dancing and that she would teach me. But then she went quiet, particularly after we set a date to meet up again; we were supposed to meet yesterday but she never texted. I had made these plans a couple times, but I didn't want to keep being pushy so I waited for her but she never messaged.

Tonight, she sent me a message saying she was sorry about not meeting up and that she is having commitment issues she is trying to work through. She said she enjoyed our conversation and wanted to meet up again, she just is having difficulty "making commitments to hang out or go out with friends" these days.

I told her I understand and that whenever she is comfortable we can meet up.

I'm not sure what she's feeling (if there is attraction) and how to proceed. At the moment I'm thinking of just not contacting her until she does again in order to not be pushy.

Hi Bilal!

Thanks for writing in. :) I applaud your efforts to not be pushy with this girl. Far too many people would just contact her until she all but ignores them. Good for you for not doing that. In your case, it does seem as if she is interested in you, but there seems to be quite a lot holding her back. So in this case, you'll have to be cautious with this and just a little bit delicate here.  So, here is what I would suggest: the next time that you talk to her, you want to demonstrate that you are not going to put any pressure on her, but that you are still interested in her at the same time. The way you do this is, next time you talk to her, tell her that you enjoy talking to her/seeing her, but that you understand she needs space and time to herself, and ask her if she will at least..let you call her twice a week, let you see her every weekend, etc, whatever you feel would be appropriate. This gives her freedom and pressure free contact with her, and at this point, that is absolutely vital.

I hope this helps, and if you have any more questions, I'd be happy to help.:)



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