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How to Know if He/She Really Likes You/Confused and Don't know what to think?


QUESTION: I'm fifteen and  recently became friends with this few months ago, he had already been friends with my 2 best friends for a year. He was really nice and sweet and complimented me, and I was for sure he liked me until I realized he treated both of my best friends like that as well. He has a girlfriend who is really overprotective and controlling, he said that she couldn't know we talked. After school one day he hung out with me and my best friends and later admitted he liked one of them. So for weeks he was obsessing over my best friend while still having a girlfriend. My best friend friendzoned him. It got awkward after that where he would always be trying to be near her. He and I had inside jokes. A few weeks ago he and my best friend got in a fight. So both my best friends were mad at him, I wasn't and we started talking all the time again. He would text me during class and after school until I had to fall asleep. Saying things like 'your perfect in my eyes','my gorgeous Kiara','talking to a gorgeous girl who mean the world to me', calling be babe, sweetie, cutie etc., Telling me I looked great at school, that he wants to hug me and had cute hug ideas. This all lasted for a week. On the Friday he hung out with me alone and walked with me part way home. The next week I texted him and it was completely different he ignored me in the halls and didn't text back. I decided not to talk or text him until he did first. He texted me once during spring break. He didn't text either of best friends. The weird thing is that even though we don't talk anymore, he still stares at me in the hallways. Yesterday I was talking to a football player and he was standing near by, he was just glaring at me the whole time. After school yesterday he skateboarded pass me and kept on looking back at me, then stopped up ahead and kinda waited for me, I crossed the road to avoid him. Today after school the same thing happened again. I like him but I'm so confused on whether or not he likes me?

ANSWER: Hi Kiara,

Well, based on what you've shared with me in your letter, it sounds to me like this boy does like you.  However, I think he's trying to keep himself at a certain distance from you on purpose because of the already existing girlfriend. Knowing this however, puts you between a rock and hard place, because he most certainly likes you, but he knows he can't have you right now. So, it seems to me like he's trying to keep himself from temptation, so to speak. Obviously, he's not doing a very good job at it, since he's still staring at you often. :)

From here, the choice is yours on whether you want to wait it out, or whether you want to move on from here and find someone else. It all comes down to which would make you happier.  I think you and I both know which would make you happier. :)

I hope this helps Kiara, and if you have any more questions, I'd be happy to help.



---------- FOLLOW-UP ----------

QUESTION: That was so helpful! Thank you. I'm not as confused. I was just wondering do you think I should wait for him to talk/text me first or text him first? I want to talk to him but I don't know if he'll want to talk to me.

ANSWER: Oh he wants to talk to you - of that I have no doubt. In this kind of situation, it's really best not to try and keep score, so to speak. Meaning, don't worry about who texts who first and whatnot. There's nothing wrong with you sending him a text every now and then just to let him know you're still alive. :) Just make sure that he's initiating at least once in a while, too. Otherwise, pull back a little until he starts to.

Other questions? Ask away! :)



---------- FOLLOW-UP ----------

QUESTION: Hi, sorry I know I'm probably getting annoying. If he wanted to talk to me, wouldn't he text me first? I kinda feel like if I do text him I'm gonna annoy him, because he's happy with his girlfriend. But at the same time I want to talk to him, but I'm also scared that he'll just not want to be friends still. If that makes sense?

Hi Kiara,

No you're not getting annoying, and yes, what you're saying makes sense to me.  Normally I would say yes, if he wants to talk to you he would contact you first, but not in this case. In this case, he's got a girlfriend, so it might be going against his personal values to talk to you on a regular basis while he's already with someone.  So in this case, continue to be friends, just push, just relax, and don't worry about who contacts who first. You two will still talk - maybe not as often as you'd like, but you'll still talk. He does still want to be friends with you, so not to sweat about you. I do think that he definitely likes you, but you still have to be careful while he's still with the girlfriend and just be friends right now.



How to Know if He/She Really Likes You

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Everyone gets confused sometimes when it comes to matters of the heart. We all want to know if that special someone at school or work was winking at you, or if if they just had something in their eye. I can help you find whether your intended likes you, signs to look for if you're unsure, and can help you in the right direction on where to go from there. I will be timely, personable, and friendly with you; it'll be like talking to an old friend. Give me a try; I bet I can help you! *Update* Because of rising expenses, I must say that I can only accept questions with a $2 donation. With the lengthy, friendly, and in-depth response you'll get from me, it will be well worth it. Thank you for understanding.

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