How to Know if He/She Really Likes You/very, very frustrated .......
Hi again Nicolette. So I told you that the guy I asked out brushed me off and said he had a girlfriend. Even though he was flirting with me, even though it was subtle, but still flirting. I'm, right now anyway, more ticked off than sad/upset over this. Do ALL men act this way-flirt with other women even when they are with someone?!! Next time someone flirts with me, I'm going to think that it doesn't mean anything, that he won't actually be available for a relationship! I'm very, very frustrated. I wish this guy had not even flirted in the first place. I did ask you about how do you tell the difference between being flirty and being just friendly, but I do think he was flirting-he got my attention and would smile really big. If this guy does have a girlfriend like he says he does, that would explain why he acted weird around me that night when he couldn't look me in the eye when he asked if I wanted a shake. Earlier that night, he smiled really big when I was walking by his area. (and waved and said hi with my name) Guys who act this way really tick me off!!! Guys are so, so different, obviously regarding flirting than women are. It just makes me mad because I thought I really had a chance....and he was freakin playing games. That is what I would call it! I guess from now on I will have to be direct and come out and ask them if they have a girlfriend. I do feel embarrassed now. Luckily I don't have to see him ALL the time at work-we tend to have different days on and off. Thank you for listening once again. And for your time and effort! One last thing, if it is relevant at all, this guy is 27.
Please accept my deepest apologies for taking so long to get my answer back to you. I have been so sick with a stomach flu all this week. I'm feeling a little bit better today, so I'll get right to your questions. I thought that I would answer both of your letters on this page, if that's ok.
First off Holley, I'm so sorry your situation turned out the way it did, with him having a girlfriend. I can feel how frustrated you are right now. But, I do want to assure you that there is absolutely nothing for you to be embarrassed about. Honest - nothing. You took a very big step for yourself, this is just part of the process. I know you didn't get the outcome you desired, but the next time you meet a guy you're attracted to, it'll be less scary for you, and the next time, and the next time. More than anything, I think taking a chance with this guy was just a chance to get your feet wet, so to speak - and to prove to yourself that could do it. So bravo, and cheers to you!
Now onto this fellow. Well, the thing about men is, when it comes to women, a lot of their thinking is purely unconscious. In this case, it means that a man can flirt with a woman without even realizing what he's doing. It may be that yes, he was flirting with you (and I do believe he was) but didn't actually realize he was doing so. I really don't believe in my heart of hearts he was playing games with you, Holley -he's just a bit young and inexperienced still. And yes, it's wise not to give too much credence to a man when he flirts with you. Don't discredit it completely, but don't take it too seriously, either. After all, yes, words are lovely, but if he's truly interested, he'll follow up those words with some actions. :)
I hope this helps, Holley, and as always, I'm here when you need to talk.